Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not an easy thing when someone has done you terrible wrong. It is made worse when you are an innocent party or it was someone you have helped before. Yet this is the way of the world. Man gets and forgets while God gives and forgives, simple as that.

Why Forgive?

However, if you do not forgive, it is like drinking poison everyday and hoping for the other person to die. Forgiveness is therefore for yourself not just the other person. You may be tossing and turning in bed every night losing precious sleep or losing your appetite when you remember those events or the person's face but yet it does not change a thing and the only ones you hurt are yourself and the people who are with you. Some folks may forgive that person who wronged them but could not forgive themselves. We should look at forgiveness in another way, that is it brings immense benefit to those who forgive. Your entire burden becomes lifted off your shoulders. 


Will Things Be The Same?

Sometimes friends would ask me if someone has done them wrong or betrayed them for no reason should they continue the relationship the same way. You can actually find the answer yourself. The first time you got betrayed, it may not be your fault but for that same person to betray you a second time, it is most probably your own fault. It may also seem easier to forgive an enemy than a friend because enemies are supposed to do terrible things to you, never a friend!??

Friedrich Nietzsche said "Forgive your enemies but never forget their names". Forgiving and forgetting are different things. For those who scheme or casually hurt others are ignorant and foolish even though they may appear clever in their own eyes. You don't have to blow out other people's candles to make yours shine brighter. 

Stuart's Law of Retroaction suggested: "Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much."

Oscar Wilde: "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." I couldn't agree more. 

Mahatma Gandhi: "The hatred you're carrying is a live coal in your heart, far more damaging to yourself than to them." 


Forgive Or Revenge?

Surely you have heard that revenge is best served cold? Contrary to this, the truth is no revenge is so complete as forgiveness. The best and most appropriate yet the rarest forgiveness comes when the person who has done wrong, realised, admitted it, apologised and thus sought and asked for forgiveness. He cannot expects it to be immediate and must receive and apply correction to himself. When he finally receives forgiveness it will lead to closure but though he has been forgiven, things may never be the same again. So remember not to be too harsh or too quick to pass judgement as when there are wounds there will be scars and even after healing the scar is there to remind the wearer of such scars inflicted and the pain returns though it may gradually recede.

It is a very difficult course and journey to go through pain and hurt and yet to forgive. Imagine if your dad was a playboy and hurt his family or those who are gamblers. Maybe he dumped the family for a mistress and later on in life claimed parent maintenance from his children. Or a mother who walked out of the family for another man or whatever reason. A sibling or friend who betrayed and hurt you. Maybe worst things than these can happen. As long as we do not forgive, we cannot let go.


Forgive Yourself?


You will be surprised if I told you that there are many people out there who could not forgive themselves for mistakes they made, some even when they were forgiven. Firstly, you have to reflect, admit and accept that you made a mistake, you were wrong and remorseful and learn from it. Search deeply in your soul if you still have one. Forgiveness is the same as love in that if you can't forgive yourself how do you forgive others just as if you don't love yourself how do you love others? Then muster the courage and ask for forgiveness.


Do Not Take Others For Granted

Remember never to take friends and people for granted. If you are a fly-by-night artist one day you will fly at night and hit the wall due to poor lighting. You may just think you are smarter that's all but others are no fool. For how is it good to gain the world and lose your own soul?

Forgiveness is therefore a great quality in a person. When one forgives, peace resides in you. He who forgives is also a very strong and great person who understands the universe and divine grace. To err is human and to forgive divine but do not keep erring as you do not want someone to rearrange your face or to arrange a meeting for you with your maker claiming "return to manufacturer". Some folks do not say sorry or ask for forgiveness because they think it's lame. So take extra care not to cause hurt to others. I say this because I knew many who hurt others without bother or without knowing. Some are just careless with words. Take heed.

I have a previous article covering the subject for your further interest:


http://gforce-guru.blogspot.com/search/label/Forgiveness

If you have not forgiven, do it now. Get your burden lifted and start living! It will take time, so get a head start. It will not be easy and it takes great strength. Good luck and may you be blessed.



I give you this song from Transformers, Revenge of the Fallen by Linkin Park - New Divide. Yes when you cause hurt, you create a new divide.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnS09oQNexA