Loneliness

We can be in a great crowd and yet feel lonely or be alone and not be lonely or forlorn. They say that when you eat, you eat with many but when you die, you die alone.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRDnEqW1vAc (Lonely People - America). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U75ikmgQehM

So what is loneliness? Loneliness is a state of being alone in solitary isolation, a feeling of sadness of being forsaken or abandoned, a state of being unfrequented by human beings, seclusion, solitude. Yet, loneliness when acceptance is gained can be an asset to the discovery of your true self because some people are just too afraid of being alone and they need to belong and be acepted even to a group of wrong people.

Your time has always been dictated by school, some unfortunately by their parents, their children, spouse, friends and we haven't even discussed about work and business yet. So how do you and where do you find time to be alone. Heck, even the pubs are crowded. Being alone in deep thoughts is something we must absolutely have. Some answers to the world's problems or your own progress and destiny could come out from spending time alone.

Talk to ourselves at times, we are not mad. Who among you are perfectly sane?  Edward Gibbon said: "The end comes when we no longer talk with ourselves. It is the end of genuine thinking and the beginning of final loneliness." So if you find me talking to myself, please do not interrupt when I am talking.

When you trust the wrong people, betrayed by others especially by a good old friend, got made used of, wringed dry like a stalk of sugar cane grinded out of their juice, one can feel lonely even when you still have many wonderful friends around.

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through love and friendship, can we create the illusion for the moment that we are not alone. - Oscar Wilde.

The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved. - Mother Teresa.

A person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart wither if it does not answer to another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and find no other inspiration. - Pearl S. Buck.

What loneliness is more lonely than distrust? - T.S. Eliot.

With some people, solitariness is not an escape not from others but from themselves. For they see in the eyes of others, only a reflection of themselves. - Eric Hoffer.

It's strange to be known so universally and yet be so lonely. - Albert Einstein.

Writing a book is a lonely business. You are totally cut off from the rest of the world, submerged in your obsessions and memories. - Mario Vargas Llosa.

If you are afraid of being alone, don't try to be right. - Jules Renard.

Some folks are lonely because they may have been betrayed or cheated so many times they just could not trust anyone anymore. Others may be decimated by misfortunes. Maybe they thought they found joy in solitude. The way to banish loneliness is to get out there to meet many people or help those less fortunate than you. We will always think that ours are the biggest problems until you meet others well enough to know their story. You will always meet sly people who will hurt you but there are others out there who won't.


Maybe you were separated from someone or the angel of death has taken a loved one or an old friend. These can make us lonely. Do you prefer to go first in old age or be left alone when all your friends were gone? No one else will understand you or connect with you like before.

Do not simply give up. Not only that, it also so much depends on who you are, how you treat others, care or share with them. Your solution to prevent future loneliness starts from here, not from there in the future. No wealth nor riches in the world is of use to anyone if you have no one to share with.

At times do you feel lonely? How will you know there are people waiting for you to smile first? In life, we need projects. How about a project of getting out of loneliness not just for you but for others? So that we never need to be lonely again? Start smiling. When we do not smile or laugh we all look stuck up. 

Humans tend to be blinded and binded by unforgiving thoughts and hurts. Do not underestimate the greatness of the human spirit to love. To do that, you have to first love. Whenever you have problems or feel lonely, go out and help someone. Your loneliness, problems and worries will disappear when you realise that others have even greater misfortunes than you. Trust me.


Loneliness can also appear on a golf course when you are playing too well that day as the other three refuse to talk much to you, they talk to  distract you, they hope for bad things to happen to your shots and they break into guffaws when you make mistakes. It can get lonely out there.


Self-centred folks should also beware. When you hurt others whenever you open your mouth or especially when you scheme  against others causing  hurt to them, you may be so busy shaking hands with friends in hell you have no time to be lonely.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eki_PRzNk-Y (Alone Again (Naturally) - Gilbert O'Sullivan).


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_P-v1BVQn8

So start reaching out to people and don't wait till some folks warn you to drink with moderation when alone and you ask "who is this moderation you ask me to drink with?"


You came into this world alone and shall depart alone. Don't use friends to fill your void but go fill theirs when needed. Make time for people. It is different when friends come to you at your convenience then when you make time for them despite the inconvenience. When you learn to share and give without expecting anything in return, you will never be left alone let alone be lonely.