Empathy And Gratitude

Everybody at one time or another complained about their bosses as good bosses and really great leaders are a rare breed. Most people when they become bosses are blind to their own faults. So you get people getting their maids or domestic helpers to wash their cars, some during weekends, some actually have a few cars and others have to have their cars washed  twice a day - before they left for work and after they returned, sometimes late into the night.

Then we have people obsessed with clean and clear windows yet their Microsoft version are cluttered and dirty. How many more maids need to fall to their death before something is done? Can the Ministry introduce some laws and enforce them? Can employers do something on their own rather than always waiting for the Government to lead? Can the Town Councils or Estate Management do some periodical cleaning of the facade? I am going to invent "Windows 101" that can slide inwards so that you can do the cleaning inside. When this become law, I will supply windows to every building and be a national hero. Let's have more empathy.

It has been asked: "What Do We Value?" I have deliberated on "Kindness" and Humility" so far. For those who may have missed them, I place the links for your easy reference.  

http://gforce-guru.blogspot.com/2012/03/kindness.html

http://gforce-guru.blogspot.com/2012/03/humility.html

As I have said before, if you are not kind, you can't have empathy. If you don't have principles, how to be honest? If you are not grateful, can you have humility? Can one be fair without an open mind? Practise spirituality without exhibiting self control? Will you forgive more easily if you have more spirituality and a greater sense of humour? If you are a grateful person, you will see and appreciate beauty in all things. Curiosity will keep you asking questions in your mind to discover the truths of all these things mentioned and when you have all these, it shall empowered you with tremendous courage come what may. 

I have previously written an article on "Gratitude" and the link here has reference, so I shall not reinvent the wheel: 


Then what is "Empathy"? Empathy is the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another. It is the capacity to recognise and to some extent share feelings - be it of happiness or sadness of another person or people. You need to have empathy before you can have compassion. It is the ability of being able to metaphorically "stand in some one's shoes" or see through "another person's eyes" and feel the same happiness or sadness. Not all people has real empathy because they only wanted to share happiness and not sadness as in "you enjoy and eat with many but when you die, you die alone". 

However, do not confuse empathy with sympathy. When you understand and feel another's feelings for yourself, you have empathy. Hearing the tragic story of someone that made you feel as if it concerned you personally is the ability to empathise whereas when you sympathise with somebody, you simply pity the person. You still have feelings for that person but you do not feel those feelings by placing yourself in his situation. 

Remember, I told you that many of these values are intertwined into a complex quality that latch on to one another and if you got one it may lead you onto another but if you were to miss one, you may actually miss a bundle. So be very careful to harness these qualities. So kindness, humility, gratitude and empathy for example are in it altogether. 

Small deeds done are better than big deeds planned - Peter Marshall.

Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair but manifestations of strength and resolution - Kahlil Gibran.

Stop the habit of wishful thinking and start the habit of thoughtful wishes - Mary Martin.

There's no such thing as a small act of kindness for every act creates a ripple with no logical end - Scott Adams.

True contentment comes with empathy - Tim Finn.

Empathy takes time and efficiency is for things not people - Stephen Covey.

Some people thinks only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy - Dean Koontz.

If there is one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from his angle as well as your own - Henry Ford.

We live in a culture that discourages empathy. A culture that too often tells us our principal goal in life is to be rich, thin, young, famous, safe and entertained - Barack Obama.

To touch the soul of another human being is to walk on holy ground - Stephen Covey.

The capacity to give one's attention to a sufferer is a rare and difficult thing. It is almost a miracle, it is a miracle. Nearly all those who think they have the capacity do not possess it - Simon Weil.

Nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches as to conceive how others can be in want - Jonathan Swift. 

Leadership is about empathy. It is about having the ability to relate to and connect with people for the purpose of inspiring and empowering their lives.– Oprah Winfrey

"Sometimes I'm asked by kids why I condemn marijuana when I haven't tried it. The greatest obstetricians in the world have never been pregnant." - Art Linkletter

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us "universe", a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."  Albert Einstein

One must develop his or her own perception, sensitivity and powers of empathy and you will find the whole world opens up to you. We must often reflect how our actions affect other people's hearts. Just like photography, it involves our inner and outer worlds, what we see, what we see through the lens and beyond, how we interpret  and how to capture that emotion and angle of that very moment on an impulse. If you could connect with people like that, you have great empathy. Shouldn't the pleasures and pains of our human species be our own? The nature of evil is the lack of empathy. If one has no capacity to feel for your fellow man, you may be evil. 

If you can root out a vice, plant a virtue. 

Virtue is an angel, but she is a blind one and must ask Knowledge to show her the pathway that leads to her goal - Horace Mann.
Finally, many of us would be ashamed of our own "good deeds" if people could see the motives behind them. Are you grateful and do you have empathy?

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