The Vow
The Durex survey that Singaporeans are not having enough sex was warped. Maybe they asked the wrong standard questions or the wrong people.
A friend sent me an article on a scholarly argument presented by a Assistant Professor: "Sex, lies, leadership: an inevitable threesome", which seemed to have thrown out arguments that we should not over condemn leaders who have faults like us. Well, I have always told people that what you see in the papers, things that happened to others can also happen to us. So be careful and be watchful. Linking testosterone with the pursuit of power, libido and multiple mating partners may be the reasons why people stray but aren't we superior beings and if so can we then justify that we just follow our urges wherever they lead us. What then about the values if life? Loyalty and faithfulness? How do your children look at and learn from you?
While the world grapples with the deadliest economic crisis yet, we, the little red dot have been coming to terms with sexual exploitations. Political leaders, lecturer, school principal, pastor, top civil servants, many other high profile folks have been caught in sex scandals and corruption. This makes me think that there may be a lot more than meets the eye such that when people travel and when filling up immigration forms, they may declare 2-3 times per week rather than male or female under the "sex" column. I read some comments that some of these people were honourable as they have admitted to their poorer judgement which led me to wonder if anyone would admit if they were not caught. If so, is it still honourable? Hands in cookie jar, oops! I am sorry.
While the world grapples with the deadliest economic crisis yet, we, the little red dot have been coming to terms with sexual exploitations. Political leaders, lecturer, school principal, pastor, top civil servants, many other high profile folks have been caught in sex scandals and corruption. This makes me think that there may be a lot more than meets the eye such that when people travel and when filling up immigration forms, they may declare 2-3 times per week rather than male or female under the "sex" column. I read some comments that some of these people were honourable as they have admitted to their poorer judgement which led me to wonder if anyone would admit if they were not caught. If so, is it still honourable? Hands in cookie jar, oops! I am sorry.
In all such cases, there are questions to their personal conduct. There were violation of marital vow. Isn't fidelity also about integrity? Fidelity is faithfulness to obligations, duties and observances. It is the quality of being loyal. It is a strict observance of promises. It also means not having a sexual relationship with anyone else except your legally married partner.
Integrity is steadfast adherence to a strict or moral ethical code and principles. It is honesty and the soundness of your moral character. It is about being entirely undiminished. The concept of integrity is about consistency in all your actions, measures, methods, values, outcomes and expectations. It is about truthfulness and ethics and the opposite of hypocrisy. Integrity is internal virtue coming from the Latin word "integer" which means whole or complete.
It is in every aspect of your life and a belief system such that no matter how dangerous, how tempting, how unpopular, you do not flinch, falter or waver due to other or stronger and powerful influences and standing strong on your belief how one should live. It is also about keeping one's words, sincerity, fairness and justice. Are you a fair and just person or one who has bigoted views? It is always about doing the right things even when no one else is watching.
It is a skill that needs honing all the time that will eventually lead to your thoughts, words and actions being consistently congruent and never in conflict. In essence, your soul will be in complete harmony. They say it is better to have an enemy who keeps his word than a friend who does not.
Among us, there are some people who swear. "I swear by my mother's grave.....", "I swear that if I lied, I would get struck by lightning.....". Then there are those who promises much but delivers nothing. There is no need to make promises or to swear. Let your word be your bond. While some swear, others got sworn in. It is better to be sworn in than to be sworn at just like being pissed off is better than being pissed on. Then there is the "Vow". I vow to do this or that. There are also religious vows. What is a vow?
A vow is an earnest promise to perform a specified act or behave in a certain manner especially a solemn promise to live and act in accordance with the rules of the vow such as a religious vow, a vow of fidelity. a promise of affection, a pledge of love as in a marriage vow. Nobody pointed a gun to your head for you to get married or to marry that person of your choice unless yours was under very unfortunate circumstances. Overtime, married people went through many stages in life where you face challenges and stress over your time, finance, relationship, career and many others, etc. Sometimes, the challenges can become insurmountable.
When you do not work it out together in a very reasonable manner, you will be left a sour taste and the relationship can get cold. How does warm food taste when it got cold? All it takes is another person to show more care and husband and wife relationship can easily falter. Some women control their men too much. The reverse is also true. A friend shared with me something I myself felt is true and that is if a person is not the flirtatious kind he or she is unlikely be looking for something else. Just know where are the traps and avoid them. Flee. The strongest bond like a glue is trust but trust is fragile. Once broken, it may be irreparable.
It takes great commitment to stay married. Before a person gets married, he or she must think carefully and act responsibly. Walking down the aisle, in front and in full view of your parents, siblings, in-laws and outlaws, relatives and friends with a priest, pastor or Justice of Peace thrown in you would have recited before all present and in some case with God as witness:
Integrity is steadfast adherence to a strict or moral ethical code and principles. It is honesty and the soundness of your moral character. It is about being entirely undiminished. The concept of integrity is about consistency in all your actions, measures, methods, values, outcomes and expectations. It is about truthfulness and ethics and the opposite of hypocrisy. Integrity is internal virtue coming from the Latin word "integer" which means whole or complete.
It is in every aspect of your life and a belief system such that no matter how dangerous, how tempting, how unpopular, you do not flinch, falter or waver due to other or stronger and powerful influences and standing strong on your belief how one should live. It is also about keeping one's words, sincerity, fairness and justice. Are you a fair and just person or one who has bigoted views? It is always about doing the right things even when no one else is watching.
It is a skill that needs honing all the time that will eventually lead to your thoughts, words and actions being consistently congruent and never in conflict. In essence, your soul will be in complete harmony. They say it is better to have an enemy who keeps his word than a friend who does not.
Among us, there are some people who swear. "I swear by my mother's grave.....", "I swear that if I lied, I would get struck by lightning.....". Then there are those who promises much but delivers nothing. There is no need to make promises or to swear. Let your word be your bond. While some swear, others got sworn in. It is better to be sworn in than to be sworn at just like being pissed off is better than being pissed on. Then there is the "Vow". I vow to do this or that. There are also religious vows. What is a vow?
A vow is an earnest promise to perform a specified act or behave in a certain manner especially a solemn promise to live and act in accordance with the rules of the vow such as a religious vow, a vow of fidelity. a promise of affection, a pledge of love as in a marriage vow. Nobody pointed a gun to your head for you to get married or to marry that person of your choice unless yours was under very unfortunate circumstances. Overtime, married people went through many stages in life where you face challenges and stress over your time, finance, relationship, career and many others, etc. Sometimes, the challenges can become insurmountable.
When you do not work it out together in a very reasonable manner, you will be left a sour taste and the relationship can get cold. How does warm food taste when it got cold? All it takes is another person to show more care and husband and wife relationship can easily falter. Some women control their men too much. The reverse is also true. A friend shared with me something I myself felt is true and that is if a person is not the flirtatious kind he or she is unlikely be looking for something else. Just know where are the traps and avoid them. Flee. The strongest bond like a glue is trust but trust is fragile. Once broken, it may be irreparable.
It takes great commitment to stay married. Before a person gets married, he or she must think carefully and act responsibly. Walking down the aisle, in front and in full view of your parents, siblings, in-laws and outlaws, relatives and friends with a priest, pastor or Justice of Peace thrown in you would have recited before all present and in some case with God as witness:
I, ----------, take you, ----------, to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times or in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.
"Promise, true, good times or bad, sickness or in health, love and honour you all the days of my life". This is a vow. A vow is something sacred, inviolable, sacrosanct, unbreakable. Never take a vow lightly. It is like the "Fireman's Code" which is "never to leave your partner behind."
I have earlier mentioned about being caught with your hands in a cookie jar. Who will admit that they are corrupt or involved in a scandal, sex or otherwise until they got caught red-handed. So avoid it at all costs. It is not worth it. You will only bring hurt to many innocent people. Now is the time for amnesty if you haven't been caught. Also if married, remember your vow. Fidelity and integrity is not just restricted in married relationship. It is also true in your other relationship with friends or at work. It is about ethical codes and principles not blind to people or whatever you idolise.
If someone says to you everybody is doing it, why won't you? Or if you don't do it, someone else will. Tell them that you are not everybody or someone. Remember your vow and let your word be your bond. Beware the way of the world. The masses may seem right in numbers at first. Learn to walk away. Fireproof yourself and your family.
Till death do us part? Here is Bette Midler, listen to the lyrics:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxSTzSEiZ2c (highlight link, right click and click go to)
I have earlier mentioned about being caught with your hands in a cookie jar. Who will admit that they are corrupt or involved in a scandal, sex or otherwise until they got caught red-handed. So avoid it at all costs. It is not worth it. You will only bring hurt to many innocent people. Now is the time for amnesty if you haven't been caught. Also if married, remember your vow. Fidelity and integrity is not just restricted in married relationship. It is also true in your other relationship with friends or at work. It is about ethical codes and principles not blind to people or whatever you idolise.
If someone says to you everybody is doing it, why won't you? Or if you don't do it, someone else will. Tell them that you are not everybody or someone. Remember your vow and let your word be your bond. Beware the way of the world. The masses may seem right in numbers at first. Learn to walk away. Fireproof yourself and your family.
Till death do us part? Here is Bette Midler, listen to the lyrics:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxSTzSEiZ2c (highlight link, right click and click go to)
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