How To Get Rid Of Lizards - Effectively!

The last time I talked about fear, all kinds of fear or phobia that people have and some of these fears are ever present and always prevalent like the dreaded cockroaches and lizards. If God had made them any bigger we would be living in the days of those terrible lizards aka "Dinosaurs". Now our problems are isolated in what to have a standard Milo drink or Milo Dinosaur. Dinosaurs were already here during Biblical times, just that the word "Dinosaur" which means terrible lizards has not been coined.

Today I shall let you in to the world of lizards which quite a lot of people fear but actually they are all good as they do not spread diseases and they eat insects including mosquitoes. There may be more than 100 species of lizards of all types and most of us do not seem to like them too much. Those who has experienced lizards falling onto them, touched them or stepped onto them bare foot will know how it feels as your goose bumps hit 9 on the "lizardter scale". No matter, they still gets into the house, hide behind shelves, cabinets, lights, etc. I think if you were to stare into the lizard's eyes you will have a lousy feeling.

If they were any bigger, you might think they want to eat you up or your children and it is not easy to catch them as they move pretty fast. Funny thing is that lizards eats up every insects and other pests like mosquitoes or even spiders and yet we dislike them? Plus why do we fear them when they actually fear us more? May be some of us just hated cleaning up their faeces on the wall.

I was told a story that when I was a very young toddler, I was given a "豆 沙 包" (red bean bun) to eat and you know the bean paste with the white bun thingy kind of look and as a toddler you tend to drop some crumbs and then you pick them up to eat? At my maternal grandmother's house there were plenty of lizards and I was told that I picked up wrongly and ate a piece of lizard shit instead! Not sure if this story is true but may be eating lizard shit is the only way to take the fear of lizard away. No wonder sometimes I felt an urge to climb a wall when I feel people are driving me up the wall. This is a rare footage of a lizard in an elevator. Sometimes, lizards can get tired too so they decide to take the elevator.

How Do You Get Rid Of Lizards?

Remove Food Source & Maintain Cleanliness

You can't completely remove food source of lizards because they can still eat pests and the amount and types of pests in this world is staggering. However, any other kind of food source left at the kitchen sink can attract them. It is common sense that if you keep the home hygienic and clean you will have less pests. A messy and dirty house is an open invitation for pests to set up homes too and in the same vein lizards will find their way to your house as it is a food source.

Anything from dirty floors to piles of books and magazines are like building a home for pests and that attracts lizards. Keep shelves and furniture some six inches away from the wall as lizards like to hide behind them and leaving a gap would ensure they are not completely hidden and are not comfortable to hide there. Lizards like warm places so turn the heat down and use the air-conditioners some times. Reduce the number of pictures and mirrors that you hang out as display. These too are lizard's favourite hiding place. These attract lizards like men are attracted to watering holes.

Grandmas' wardrobe never had a lizard near them. Why? I think lizards like other insects just hate mothballs. Although most grandmothers used to smell like mothballs they taught us something. Some of us fear mothballs too. You won't go near them so how do you think a lizard would feel? May be a good idea to place some mothballs near or around your windows if you can survive the smell. Try not to put lighting outside as they attract insects which in turn attract lizards. Rear cats or chickens. Cats like to catch and toy with them while chicken eats them.

I found advice from the Internet and elsewhere that suggested placing egg shells at strategic places would ensure lizards do not come near. So I was wondering, well maybe their grandparents and parents told them and warned them about chickens and eggs so the smell of egg shell or the sound it makes if a lizard goes past them would freak them out. It seemed to have worked for awhile then one day I found lizard shit on an egg shell! So this is not true or this lizard was ignorant!

Lizards are very special. They gave us Spiderman. It is time someone come out with Lizardman. Let me show you how powerful they are. Look at this picture courtesy of my daughter's friend.

How To Catch Lizards

Let me share my experience. I have spent countless and sleepless nights at times figuring out how to get rid of lizards or kill a mosquito in the house, etc. and have considerable experience. Chasing a lizard around the house hoping to catch them would be futile most times. I do not kill them just catch and release like fishing and then letting go. If despite you best-laid plans and a lizard or two managed to sneak in this is what you do. If they are on the ceiling, use a stick or something to coax it slowly toward where a window is and hope they would just get out.

It would be better to get it down to the floor and scare it into a corner where you would have placed a box with the opening facing the lizard. Use a broom or something to nudge it patiently towards the box. When you manage to do it. Tilt the box up and close it with a cover or cardboard. It's even easier at the washroom. Spray it with water and it will slow down.

How To Release It

This is the easiest part. Bring it to your least favourite neighbour's yard and set it free!

How To Get Rid Of It

Finally, despite years of research and various information available we remain clueless as to the most effective way to get rid of lizards. It always take people with a great mind and curiosity to discover things. This is my or our patent. It was my son who discovered it and I further expanded on it. It has been proven quite a number of times and it always work! Therefore to share with you this information, I have put a tracking device so that once you access this blog article you would be deemed to have read it and every time you use this method to get rid of lizards you are required to pay us royalties.

At first, I want you to be honest like playing golf. Just come up to pay me. If this has been abused or illegally taken advantage of, I shall engage the software anti-piracy people to also check violations for me. Now pay attention - this is how you do it.

Discover

This boy is a genius. May be someday he may use lizard shit to create a cure for ailments.

My son likes to discover things. Explore and discover. He does not take no for an answer too quickly. He started telling us that he could make lizards do certain things like chasing a light. One day, just outside the house he made a lizard come down a wall and onto a parapet. Then the lizard was so engrossed in chasing the light that it must have jumped off from the parapet. I was impressed and wanted to do more experiment. At this point the child inside the man emerged.

We went to the park where they have a shelter or rest point in the night and you are sure to find lizards there. My son went to do the usual stuffs and made the lizards run up and down from ceiling to wall and then wall to ceiling. It was then my turn to try it. I did the same thing like my son after which I tried something new. I aimed the light in front of one lizard and led it to the next lizard and I decided to point the light aimed at the second lizard's abdomen. The first lizard in frantically following the light right up to the second lizard just opened its mouth and bit at the light which was trained on the second lizard's body. The second lizard responded immediately after being beaten and a fight ensued.

So what was that light? Ladies and gentlemen (drum roll please), this light comes in a little red dot. It is the powerful laser pointer. We used and tested it on lizards and made them climbed up and down ceilings, made them fight. Needless to say, you can use a laser pointer and lead a lizard to where you want to such as outside of the window from your house. Make sure the lizard sees your light so that they can follow and then patiently lead them away.

Warning! (Awas!) Please do not shine your laser pointer at anyone or anywhere. It can go quite a distance too and reach an building opposite. You learn this because you came to the guru. I have asked my son for his permission to share this knowledge and save the world and he was magnanimous. If all else fails, try pest control.

Finally, for this great discovery that will save a portion of mankind from these terrible lizards aka dinosaurs I have presented him with the prestigious "Skinless Chicken" award! It is significant to note that the chicken looked surprise because in life we can make many surprising discoveries even with simple means like using our curiosity, a bit of common sense or asking ourselves a few right questions. Skinless also means it is a healthier choice and a contribution to the environment. I'm thinking of a shell-less crab award next. How nice to eat crabs without the shells.

This chicken is very special in that when you squeeze it it goes "pok-kair". So you will remember your own greatness by giving it a squeeze when you need an uplift and when you achieve something. I'm already in search of the next winner, a life-time achievement award. I am searching for one Mr. Han. Where art thou Mr. Han? As lizards are afraid of chickens because chickens eat them. It is like Velociraptors running away when the Tyrannosaurus Rex is near. Hang it near a window as a dual-purpose trophy!

But seriously, the method I have mentioned above is guaranteed to work. Have fun!! Lizards need not be an enemy, learn to dance with them!