The Autumn Leaves
There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven; a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, ..... Ecclesiastes 3: 1-2/4.
Going Downhill?
What happens when life starts going downhill or when we start counting till the last leaf falls? These are questions posed to me by a friend/reader. The first question that springs to mind is "are we not born to die?" Doesn't everything seems futile like chasing the wind? No matter how great are our achievements. The moment we were born, the clock starts ticking. We are running against the grain. Not only that, we are bombarded by millions of germs - bacteria/viruses at birth that have taken its toll on human lives before technological advancement of medicine help to improve infant mortality and extend life. Already we are very fortunate here. Young ones with lots of energy tend to feel immortal until they come to a certain age. They say that once you have reached 40, it is downhill all the way and downhill is faster as opposed to trudging uphill. Only consolation is that 40s is the new 30s.
Ask yourself another question. When was the first time you saw or understood death? Maybe you witnessed an accident or you have seen an aged relative passed on. Death as we all know is a permanent eraser of our physical existence. Everything you lived and stood for, every experience and memory. All your possessions and all your love ones and friends will be left behind. "Naked a man comes from his mother's womb, as he comes, so he departs. He takes nothing from his labour that he can carry in his hand." Ecclesiastes 5: 15. Most of us could not remember what those days were like when we were at an age of 3-5 years old but you may have some vague memory of what went on from there. We used to live a stone's throw a way from a highway and a canal where traffic accidents or drowning would happen occasionally and once the news travelled, everybody would go down to have a look and that included my granny who sometimes dragged me along so I saw death at a young age but it was a subject beyond my tender years.
Later, I saw more deaths as a policeman when people did sky jumping before the bungee was invented and in Civil Defence when the hotel collapsed in 1986, I was there up close. I would ask myself what happens when some one dies. I could picture that everything is shut down, all darkness, all nothing. Finito. Then I would ask out of curiosity if it were the same as before we were born and try to recall what it was like. Close your eyes, hold your breath and shut your mind. Well, that could be a faint idea. Next thing that popped from my mind was may be it is not entirely the same as one was before birth there was nothingness.
This is after we have come, lived and did things. We have experienced life. There was memory, there were deeds. I found solace in the Primary School text book that taught the major religions here - Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam and Christianity as we are a multi-religious society. I like that. It gave us options. Some of us are free thinkers so we use logic to explain and overcome things. Then one day I went to Haw Par Villa where they have huge figures of fairies and the Hell King from Hades. Liars were depicted having their tongues cut. Most of us would be without our tongues, I thought. I'm not talking religion here but it has relevance to the topic. Basically we learned about Heaven and Hell, Good versus Evil. Life and death.
Later, I saw more deaths as a policeman when people did sky jumping before the bungee was invented and in Civil Defence when the hotel collapsed in 1986, I was there up close. I would ask myself what happens when some one dies. I could picture that everything is shut down, all darkness, all nothing. Finito. Then I would ask out of curiosity if it were the same as before we were born and try to recall what it was like. Close your eyes, hold your breath and shut your mind. Well, that could be a faint idea. Next thing that popped from my mind was may be it is not entirely the same as one was before birth there was nothingness.
This is after we have come, lived and did things. We have experienced life. There was memory, there were deeds. I found solace in the Primary School text book that taught the major religions here - Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam and Christianity as we are a multi-religious society. I like that. It gave us options. Some of us are free thinkers so we use logic to explain and overcome things. Then one day I went to Haw Par Villa where they have huge figures of fairies and the Hell King from Hades. Liars were depicted having their tongues cut. Most of us would be without our tongues, I thought. I'm not talking religion here but it has relevance to the topic. Basically we learned about Heaven and Hell, Good versus Evil. Life and death.
Life Cycle
Life is a cycle like the seasons. Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. Just like the metamorphosis of insects and plants. A seed scattered on the ground will grow into a tree with a solid canopy and deep roots. In its season it shall bear fruit and then the seeds will be scattered again. Flowers bloom and wither. You hear a baby's cry and you hear wailing when someone dies. Some people believe we are here to suffer. Do you agree? Can we really have joy while we are here? What about contentment of heart? Why are some good people taken away so early while folks whom we think are bad are still around?
How do we really know if they are good or bad? By what or whose standard do we use to judge people. We spend a good part of our life getting busy with lots of things, getting an education, struggled with growing up, working hard to establish some credibility, rushing through life and thinking some day when I make it good I shall start planning how to live it but life does not work that way because while it is good to plan, many plans just may not work out. Dreams can turn to nightmares and it may not be our fault. Meanwhile, life is happening to you while you are busy making other plans. Listen to John Lennon's Beautiful Boy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uldu_1-JCJE, ...life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.
How do we really know if they are good or bad? By what or whose standard do we use to judge people. We spend a good part of our life getting busy with lots of things, getting an education, struggled with growing up, working hard to establish some credibility, rushing through life and thinking some day when I make it good I shall start planning how to live it but life does not work that way because while it is good to plan, many plans just may not work out. Dreams can turn to nightmares and it may not be our fault. Meanwhile, life is happening to you while you are busy making other plans. Listen to John Lennon's Beautiful Boy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uldu_1-JCJE, ...life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.
We worry too much over everything and nothing. We pick on issues when there are no issues. They become issues because we make them out to be issues. We want to know what happens in the future but do not want to do anything now. Everybody wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die. Some don't even want to do what is required to get there. Others believe there are no such things. Heaven and hell or religions are made up by people so that they can control you and make you do things with obedience. So we pursue life's interest on our own terms and with all our might. Make more money, do the things we like or whatever pleasure. What you do depends on what you believe in. If there is no heaven or hell, no God, then we can do what we like since we only have one life so maximum pleasure for self must be the order of each day. Besides, there is no accountability. Those who believe there's no greater being are atheists or agnostic. It doesn't mean that free thinkers behave badly. They just think free and have the freedom of thoughts. There are folks who can get over-religious, over-zealous and even self righteous, holier than thou or other questionable characters who use religion for their own agenda.
Time and Space
When I say time flies, you better pay attention. Suddenly, we are already in October. Soccer stars, famous actors and singers very quickly find out for themselves that all the adulation surrounding them fade away as fast. Once they are no longer famous or in power, the adulation was gone. When money dried up, the friends were gone. Many, under such relentless pressure of pursuing success were left lost and forlorn and they turn to alcohol to numb themselves to counter the blues. In the blink of an eye, your children grew up so quickly (though while you are at it it seems like light years away), you have aged rapidly, those whose relationship were not built on solid platform could no longer last. Your head once full of your crown glory of dark hair have turned silver if you are lucky, others have fallen off like roof tiles from an old house. Your eyesight have deteriorated, there is a bit of being hearing-impaired. You get tired more easily. The energy level and stamina is not the same any more. In fact, your metabolism has slowed. You become forgetful and your knees got cranky. You are less of an immortal now. Of course when you are highly intelligent and super capable it is hard to believe that some day soon you are going to meet your maker I mean how do I know there is one in the first place. No evidence to suggest so. There has been no invention that could allow people to die for awhile and then press a button and the coin slides back down and out to share that experience of seeing a light and then going through a tunnel unless you are a coin that goes in a vending machine and come rolling out as a canned drink. When we suffer ourselves, we can bear a bit more pain but if you see a love one suffer, it is a different thing. That's why you see in the movies the bad guys torturing the good ones to no effect no matter how painful but then when they put that damsel in distress to the torture, ah now we are talking. It is all about time, space and a changed perspective. Most people will walk a little closer to God or have a more spiritual life the older they get. The warranty period is over soon, may be only the maker can deal with it. It is basically the time and space we are in.
Regress
Look around you, read the papers and you will surely find that very successful people and older people are doing things differently. Bill Gates and Warren Buffet are giving away all their wealth to charities to fight diseases and for the under-privileged, etc. Many older folks are naturally becoming more spiritual. For Gates and Buffet there are nothing more for them to chase and they don't need a thing. Like chasing the wind it is futile. Older people are more spiritual because they have seen and done more things so they understood life is temporal and is like chasing the wind and all people will at some stage in life wonder where to from here. We are regressing and it is faster than you thought. In a blink of an eye.
What Do You Cling To?
How strong we are is directly dependent on what you believe. In moments of danger and desperation what do you cling to? You may be a super hero now but ask Superman how he feels when he is weakened by the presence of kryptonite where you are completely devoid of strength and ability. You become completely humbled, helpless perhaps even feel useless and spent. What do you cling to? Where does your hope and strength come from? When your intelligence, strength and ability are no longer of use, what do you cling to? "Hope"? Yes and your hope is going to be based on "Faith" and where's does faith comes from? "Love" because the greatest of all is "Love". Hope, Faith, Love and the greatest is Love. But whatever situation you are in, no matter how dire, one must have hope. Faith is the substance of things hoped for but the evidence of things not seen. It means you hope for something or a situation or a wish even when there is no evidence to suggest or support it to be the favourable outcome.
Everyday, we hurried through life full of ourselves. Where shall we eat or wear. What fun to have or how much money I wish I had. Nothing wrong with that. How much sharper will our senses be and what would we be doing if you only have one more day to live? When that is the case, the nature around you becomes even more beautiful, simple things in life become so wonderful, each and every moment with your family and loved ones and time spent with friends would have a different meaning. Your thoughts are clear and focus. You will show more kindness and share your love. Let me tell you that everyday is your last day for the day. Do not let it pass you by without saying a kind word, helping a person or doing a kind act. We only pass this way but once. You may not have a second chance.
Reversal
How wonderful if life happens backward. First you are old and fragile then you start to grow younger and stronger. You are then retired with lots of free time to pursue your hobbies, meet friends, catch up with family members, play lots of golf. Then you get to go to work right up to the beginning of your career before going for your education - university, college, school becoming a teenager again, a young child, toddler, a baby again. Goes back into a womb, disengaged from the egg in the ovary, become a sperm, swim backwards to the source of the orgasm and disappear into oblivion. You may be laughing by now. Don't laugh, if I invent this machine, it will not come to you cheap. Alas! It shall not be.
Common Denominator
When I was in school, at some point we didn't know what the common denominator is but the common denominator in life is death. Whether you are a king or a pauper, it will someday come to an end. Two of the most important things in your life - birth and death. You cannot choose. You can't choose your parents or siblings but you can choose your friends. Choose the right friends and learn from the right people who inspire you. Don't hope for a spaceship to come and take you away. If it did, they come to piss and not come in peace. Tom Cruise may not be happy to read this. For we may be what they thought are the lowest life form. Yes, even among earthlings we can find some of the lowest life form in some people. Forgive them for they know not what they do.
We are all on the same boat on a journey to a certain destination. A huge boat with many different levels, positions. What you see depends on which side of the boat you are on. Some get sea view others get hill view. Along the way, some get sea sick others just get sick. Sometimes, you hit a storm or encounter typhoon, hurricane, cyclone - whatever you call it, it is the same calamity. At other times, misfortune may befall us. It certainly make sense for all people to share our love, help each other, care for and comfort one another. Shake hands, hug, sing and dance a little. Do you agree? Didn't they say life is a journey, not a destination? Yes, it is a journey but when it stops, it becomes a destination.
What Can We Do?
What we can really do is very little. Depending on ourselves would be futile. You need soul mates, friends and a little faith. Our muscles will waste away. Use it or waste it. Exercise no matter how little. Life is not measured by how many breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away. Add life to days not days to life. Remember when you were young and only five but you kept telling people you were five and a half then when you were 14 you kept saying you were 15 (as you were 14.5) then you said you were going to be 18 when you were merely 16. You can't wait to grow old. You can't wait to go to work or reach 21. Suddenly you became 30! You stop celebrating birthdays. When you hit the big four O you said you were 39 and a half. When you reach 50 people say you could die any year. Go to Hawaii to get Hawaii 5-0 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSAYrRJrbAI. At 60, one could die any day and by 70, one can die any hour. You live by the hour and like what MM said it's a bonus. However, all these are insignificant when you have lived a meaningful and honourable life. When people have achieved everything in life and/or at a certain age, they have a tendency to walk closer to God. We should just start living in the now making careful choices to be who we are and who we want to be with no regrets. True friends will choose you for who you are and what you stood for and not what you can do for them.
What we can really do is very little. Depending on ourselves would be futile. You need soul mates, friends and a little faith. Our muscles will waste away. Use it or waste it. Exercise no matter how little. Life is not measured by how many breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away. Add life to days not days to life. Remember when you were young and only five but you kept telling people you were five and a half then when you were 14 you kept saying you were 15 (as you were 14.5) then you said you were going to be 18 when you were merely 16. You can't wait to grow old. You can't wait to go to work or reach 21. Suddenly you became 30! You stop celebrating birthdays. When you hit the big four O you said you were 39 and a half. When you reach 50 people say you could die any year. Go to Hawaii to get Hawaii 5-0 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSAYrRJrbAI. At 60, one could die any day and by 70, one can die any hour. You live by the hour and like what MM said it's a bonus. However, all these are insignificant when you have lived a meaningful and honourable life. When people have achieved everything in life and/or at a certain age, they have a tendency to walk closer to God. We should just start living in the now making careful choices to be who we are and who we want to be with no regrets. True friends will choose you for who you are and what you stood for and not what you can do for them.
When everything is futile then why even bother? Aha, we may have to work or even toil but when we do so and live life diligently, responsibly, honestly and with integrity we should also embrace and enjoy it with the balance of rest, play, celebrations as a result of your labour.
Autumn Leaves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssja-V5LgpI (Paolo Nutini)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Gy5GUYC3Ug (Eva Cassidy)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEndOe8_bX4 (Frank Sinatra)
Before you know it, it will be Autumn. Time and tide waits for no man. Leaves will change colour and they will fall as the season embrace the cold of Winter. If you have a life partner, one of you will go first. You wish that pain and suffering befalls you rather than him or her. That is why the pure human spirit is noble if you put everything else aside. There is an in-built conscience in us so that we actually know right from wrong and what is good regardless of whether you are of a certain faith or just a free thinker. They also say that behind every successful man is a woman. How true and behind every successful woman is a man. The word wo-man clearly suggested it.
This is not an ego trip or vanity for the male chauvinist. All over the world there is a cry that there are not enough women leaders or CEOs, etc. Discrimination? That's the way society works and even in Singapore? It could well be true but from what I have read and knew, we have many here who are top CEOs and very highly successful career-wise. Just to briefly name a few - Temasek Holdings, Hyflux, SMRT, Hour Glass, Banyan Tree and so many more and last but not least Mrs. Lee Kuan Yew. Any woman or man who need to know how to balance between career and family will learn much. If not for her, Singaporean women will not be who you are today.
This is not an ego trip or vanity for the male chauvinist. All over the world there is a cry that there are not enough women leaders or CEOs, etc. Discrimination? That's the way society works and even in Singapore? It could well be true but from what I have read and knew, we have many here who are top CEOs and very highly successful career-wise. Just to briefly name a few - Temasek Holdings, Hyflux, SMRT, Hour Glass, Banyan Tree and so many more and last but not least Mrs. Lee Kuan Yew. Any woman or man who need to know how to balance between career and family will learn much. If not for her, Singaporean women will not be who you are today.
A Tribute To Mrs. Lee Kuan Yew
Mdm Kwa Geok Choo or Mrs. Lee Kuan Yew has passed away. The tributes are all there in the newspapers. Above all, it is a very loving and unique love story. She was his intellectual equal with a hugely successful career of her own. She allowed the husband to be head of the family and head of the state. I am sure she has contributed much in the background because a woman has more intuition than a man sometimes and has given her husband to the nation but never have the need to show it and was always "two steps behind". I'm sure she gave lots of her views and advice to him which turned out right and have benefitted us. That's why behind every successful and great man there is a woman. She can serve as an inspiration to all women and families I am sure. MM Lee Kuan Yew was a God-sent to this tiny island and so was Mrs. Lee. To me, leadership by example is the greatest as it is so difficult to practise what you preach. The principles of Honesty, Integrity and many others that we hold dearly today were due to him and her. That's why he is Singapore's greatest product and why Singapore is a trusted friend. Tell me which leader in this world can go to the USA, Russia, China, India, the Middle-East and all over the world and you have top leaders from government and businesses eagerly awaiting to hear him speak. We even readily shared what we learned with others who needed our help freely. Even more than politics and business, he taught us how to love and carve out such a loving marriage that spanned more than 60 years.
If MM Lee is the father of Singapore, then Mrs. Lee is our mother. They gave of themselves selflessly so that Singapore could benefit. They could have more time for themsleves which means less for others but life is about living for others. Above all, she was the greatest wife, mother, grandmother and friend. We should all say - "thank you very much Mrs. Lee for sharing your husband with us" and to MM, take care, be strong and stay healthy. God bless you and your family in your moment of sorrow and grief. Our prayers and love are with you. And I Love Her (Beatles) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaJIQmIei14. You should read or listen to MM's interview recently with NYT:
If MM Lee is the father of Singapore, then Mrs. Lee is our mother. They gave of themselves selflessly so that Singapore could benefit. They could have more time for themsleves which means less for others but life is about living for others. Above all, she was the greatest wife, mother, grandmother and friend. We should all say - "thank you very much Mrs. Lee for sharing your husband with us" and to MM, take care, be strong and stay healthy. God bless you and your family in your moment of sorrow and grief. Our prayers and love are with you. And I Love Her (Beatles) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaJIQmIei14. You should read or listen to MM's interview recently with NYT:
Before The Last Leaf Falls
At the beginning, I have said the clock started ticking away a long time ago. If you are able to read this, your clock has been ticking for sometime. Your battery gets weaker too. We can't choose how we go but we can do things to live a positive, meaningful, balance and happy life so that the world can be a little better after we have left. Eat and indulge moderately and exercise regularly whenever you can somehow. Surround yourself with good, positive people and true friends. If you have a life partner, learn from MM. Take that marriage vow seriously as it gives meaning in life - "I, _______ take you _______, to be my wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part: according to God's holy ordinance, and thereto I pledge you my love and faithfulness."
The day will come before the last leaf falls where in your partner will have to take care of you or you of him or her and before the last leaf falls, your tears will fall first. Tears of regret or tears of joy. Even in ill health one can shed tears of joy knowing that your partner has fulfilled that vow. Like the Fireman's code: "You don't leave your partner behind". Till death do us part. Before The Last Leaf Falls: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6lj-6vVu-Y. Sometimes, we may want to go first. Imagine all your friends are gone and you are the last leaf that falls.
Remember, the greatest of all is love. For the rest of us, listen to Collin Raye's Love Me. When I first heard it years ago, I love it so much I have to have it...."If you get there before I do, don't give up on me. I'll meet you when my chores are through, I don't know how long I'll be. But I'm not going to let you down, Darling wait and see. And between now and then, until I see you again. I'll be loving you, love, me." (Sorry, unfortunately I can't find a good original version of Collin's recording. I am considering to record one on my own and put it on youtube and go on a blaze of glory.)
Many things that happen in life are inevitable. Mr. and Mrs. Lee Kuan Yew have inspired many people in many ways. Above all, their love story is yet another testament on how we should live our lives. Here's one of her favourite songs: Que Sera Sera...with Doris Day...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXQTWCTc0aI
I leave you a beautiful and meaningful Hokkien song: Literally translated it means to hold my hands. 牽 我 çš„ 手。(Lim Gee Tiong - æž— 義 å¿ ).
Life is just like the season - the cold of Winter, teeming with life in Spring, the warmth of Summer and the Fall in Autumn. The Autumn leaves shall surely fall but after the moment of final parting, we hope to be at a better place and then we shall meet again in due time. Make that we will.
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