April's Dry Humour

April's Dry Humour - Part 1

March 30, 2013

Recently, the weather is so hot and humid that you can come out after a cold shower perspiring. You don't even need cotton buds to dry your ears as water in and around the ears would evaporate coming out from your ears as steam.

Everybody loves a winner and now that Tiger Woods is prowling again I mean on the golf course, all is forgotten. Lance Armstrong was once such a hero when he won 7 Tour de France titles. Now everyone has slammed him for drugs. I mean if you and I were on drugs, okay no just beers, I think we can't even find our bicycles.

While the world grapples with economic and financial crises, Singapore are selling houses and cars like hot cakes as if they are free. The only other problem has been with sex. Reading the papers each day made me coin a phrase that Confucius might be proud of: "Man with tool in woman's mouth not necessary dentist".

It is no wonder that people are not getting married. The guys are going "why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?" And the women are thinking "it is not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage."

In China, pigs appeared dumped into rivers. I suspect it to be the works of Angry Birds. We sure do need lots of humour to keep us going don't you think? Well we are already in April and just have to pick up the pieces of April.

Pieces of April (Three Dog Night)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JA1XAmzbnw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4Y1z16CsjM (Live)

I was walking on the street the other week and something caught my eye. Some of you may be excited. Naked Waitresses Serve You. Moral of the story is always look at the fine prints and its terms and conditions before you sign up. The sign really said " The NAKED truth about our WAITRESSES is that they only SERVE YOU to make you a regular.

What is this thing about Psy. Now there is even a Gangnam Style hairstylist near where I work.

This world is a dangerous place. Always be careful what you see or think. Whether you are buying biscuits or grabbing condoms, do not just see a Japanese lady in kimono on the packaging and just take it. "Fantastic Oriental Teriyaki" - what do you think it is? Okamoto?

Lately, I have a little delay in my sleep patterns. I can only describe to you in Four Pictures One Word. Whether they come in four letters or eight. I could solve them all without any cheat codes or paying with credit points. I can solve all the wifey's problems. One day when I grow up, I could be a 4Picture1Word champion.

While I am at all these, I am still waiting for that windfall. Sometimes, when money $$$ drop from the sky, be careful. It could be something wrong or it might change you.

There was this guy who walks into a bar alone. After ordering his beer, he told the guy next to him that he could bite his own eye. In disbelief, the other fella challenged him for 10 bucks. He then took out his false left eye and bit it. Next round, he upped the challenge to $50 saying that he could now bite his right eye. The other guy was thinking that if he could do that, he must be blind. This fellow took out his denture and bit the right eye. Don't challenge people. Either keep your eyes or mouth opened.

If you have been around, you may agree with me on this.

It is always easier to talk the walk than to walk the talk. Please therefore, do as I say and not do as I do for it is easier to say than to do. Stop following me! Or I will give you a kick!