The State of Being
I make people laugh all the time because by nature I'm a jovial person. I like to bring cheer or share joy with others because I realise that life in itself is tough, sometimes impossible or even unfortunate for some and putting myself in comparison, I feel blessed because when you know about the problems of others which can be so overwhelming that what you faced are just minor irritations. It is often we get weary due to the burdens of the mundane world.
We often compare ourselves with others. This can be both good and bad depending on what you derive from it. Positively comparing yourself with people whom you think are better than you would make you learn if you could find positive traits in them but doing it often without being objective turns it into a delusion and can make a weak mind inferior. At the other end, one needs to also look at your situation and you will surely know that you are actually a lot better than many others. When you have a problem, you will tend to think and believe that you are having the worse deals in life, maybe even feel that people are out to get at you. There may be even occasions when you spat, a chicken walked past, ate your saliva and died!
Look around you among relatives, friends, colleagues or just read the newspapers and you will be thankful that your situation aren't that bad at all. Being born in Singapore itself is a blessing.
Oh, but people often take things for granted. We think that we deserve more, we are more clever than others so we can dominate them. We do things that can be unsavoury or may hurt or betray others but we justify them anyhow because we could find reasons or excuses to exonerate ourselves eventhough we knew for good and it is ok to even lie about it. We became hypocrites and after extended practice, we even start to believe in our own lies not realising that the advantage of telling the truth is not having to remember what you said the last time. If you are clever then others are not stupid, it is just that they knew and could see the real you. It is just that you don't matter enough for them to tell you or they are just being polite and not wanting to hurt you (but real and good friends should point out each others faults openly).
Many people would put on a silkscreen, a facade for fear that being transparent and open, others would read them and could take advantage of them or hurt them. As a result, sincerity takes a backseat, trust cannot be further pursued and be built into one with unsurmountable strength and unbreakable bond. Trust is difficult and takes a long time to build but can easily be destroyed if taken for granted. However, it is one of mankind's greatest virtues and ought to be the cornerstone of all brotherhood of man and be pursued incessantly for any relationship to work. Without trust, all kinds of other relationships are forged on shaky foundation. Relationships that made use of you or one another, abusive ones, strong over the weak or those that threatens you are just scratching the surface at best but come wind and high waters, such relationships would be blown away or submerged. That would mean that the time you have invested have all been futile.
Homo sapiens are selfish. Our self-centredness may be nature's way of self-preservation.
We love our children but do we love other children? Do we love children because they are children - young, innocent and defenceless or just because they are our own? When you see a child suffering even at the hands of his/her own parents or those from broken families and understood that such a thing could have happened to us since we have never chosen to be born, born into which country and family? I have seen adults slapping children on the face with their hands wihout knowing it is a gross misconduct on their own. Our hands are used to touch, hug, comfort, love and provide - hands of love and provision not a tool of punishment which must always only be the cane.
Meanwhile, we continue to think we are the most important. We dare not admit our mistakes since doing so could represent a weakness when the absolute truth is to the opposite effect which is people who admit mistakes are made of great strength and humility. We can't apologise or say the word sorry which may make us seem lowly. Better still, push the blame on someone else for it is more convenient. Familiar? That is because of our pride.
Do you harass and intimidate others to get what you want or win them over with influence and persuasion? You will get results for both but people being harassed and intimidated will never respect you while winning them over with positive influence not only begets respect but gain the trust and build a bridge to greater understanding and connection.
Human beings are just beings. Your being is based on what you experienced in life and you understand things and see people through tinted glasses from what you have gone through. People who never felt loved could not understand or accept love and would resist it. People who have been betrayed or hurt may choose to be on the offensive since they thought it better to hurt than be at the receiving end. Those who thought it better to receive than to give probably never experienced the joy of giving. Your state of being would transform into your doings.
Do we donate to charity or are involved in charitable works because others are watching? Or do we do good simply because it is the right thing to do? Have you ever realize that a child old enough to speak would readily tell a lie or blame someone or something else when something happened such as causing water to spill from a cup? All these meant that we humans have a natural instinct to be self -centred. We do not need to train to be like that. It is inherent in us. It is therefore imperative for us to watch what we absorb into our minds and keep in our hearts for out of your heart the mouth speaks. Clear all the cobwebs inside your mind and heart and allow no negative things in but only positive ones. That is how murder plots or evil schemes infiltrate and perpetuate in the first place and our human heart is capable of great destruction and untold evil. Whatever others taught you must be carefully evaluated based on principals and moral values before you start aping it.
We will need to untrain ourselves from all these and get the shackles off so that we can set ourselves free. As humans are creatures of habit, we need to unlearn the habits. We will be assured that after we shed off all these prejudices, biases and what have yous, nobody gets devoured alive, sent into oblivion or to the last bastion of the earth. On the contrary, we will feel empowered, refreshed and aided by a fresh impetus to conquer. The state of your entire being is all in the mind. Take a minute to think of all the saddest moments of your life and tears would well up in your eyes. Conversely, think of all the happiest moments and a smile will break out causing you to grin from ear to ear. Do not waste time fretting, frowning and sulking. Snap out of your unhappiness and not allow it to settle in. It needs your permission to filter in. Say no! Good luck and stay strong. If sleep is a weapon, your mind is the greatest weapon.
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