Inner Peace 6 - Revenge of The Sieve

Forgiveness

Our human heart and condition are built on unforgiveness. We are sensitive to many things and yet insensitive to others in everything. We only consider our own feelings because our soul residing inside of us could feel the pain when we hear or see something we do not like. It is funny when the other fellow has mud on his face but the fun is different when the mud is on yours. Isn't it true that we offend without even knowing or bother to be careful and feel offended by something that is not even there. 

We never remembered when we hurt others, try counting and you wouldn't even recall. Now try to remember who has offended you - Wow!! The names pour out like an internet search with pages of contents. Some of you may even keep a black book to blacklist people. Some organisations has managers who keep a record of wrong doings. How does a staff feel good when it felt like someone is watching to catch you making mistakes or take a wrong step? 

What about the good deeds? Wouldn't the workers be fearful to make any mistakes and fearing to make mistakes would lead to making even more mistakes itself. Even terrible people has goodness in them. A gangster who is in jail could be a filial son, doting father, loving husband or endearing friend. A teacher in an education centre or institution could have just conned his parents of their life savings. Goodness in people cannot be defined by age, nationality or race. It is always defined in the heart. You either view all people as bad till they are proven good or good till they are proven bad. 

The latter pronounced "Guilty!" before any evidence is submitted in court while the former goes through the whole justice process and the accused is guilty only when proven. Doing this is troublesome but it is more than necessary and is the way to go. There is no point trying to catch people doing wrong as there are too many. It is better to catch people doing right as this way is more powerful. You will then highlight the goodness of people and their wonderful actions and deeds and hold them up as exemplary so that others could see these people shine. 

Praise them for they deserved it and make a stand for them to encourage more of such goodness. If you find a waiter or sales assistant with A+ attitude, compliment them. Tell their bosses or write in to solidify that conviction. You are helping them to build and make things better and you will benefit from it whenever you patronize.

To forgive is a very hard thing to do. It is even more difficult to let go than your habit of being in a drunken stupor and very dependent on the degree and magnitude of betrayal and hurt caused. If you have done wrong and never said sorry, how is the other party to forgive? Your pride would keep you there. For the party that has been wronged, feeling from being aggrieved, you will tend to keep reminding yourself of the hurt and you keep replaying it in your mind. 

Many would try to seek revenge. As Gandhi said succinctly - an eye for an eye and the whole will go blind. You would bring more enmity and misery. When you are tossing in bed, unable to sleep reminding yourself of the hurt, the one who caused it may not even remember it and yet having a good time while you are hurting yourself wallowing in self-pity.When a discussion is brought out on that person or the issue, your blood would boil, make that double-boiled. Some say revenge is best served cold. 

To forgive, therefore, is very much for yourself more so than for the person who has wronged you. Failing to do so would result in your seething anger hidden deep into your soul that in the end it could transform into a disease or ailment that takes your health away. Your attitude would also affect you in such a way that you may hurt those who loved you and many others who are your friends. Give yourself sometime as hurt and scars takes time to heal but as the good Jedi Master Yoda would say: "Heal you must."

In the same breath, while others could hurt or betray you giving you so much pain, you must watch out to make sure you do not dish out the same treatment to others. Seeking revenge is not an option as it would lower your status to that of a scumbag not much different to those scumbags who have hurt you. But forgiving does not mean not pursuing and seeking the truth. Equally, it definitely does not mean that we forget. They say if a person betrays you the first time, it is not your fault. 

But when that same person betrays you the second time, it is your fault. Whatever it is, learn to let go! When people hurt you, jot it down in the sand so that the wind of forgiveness and the ocean's current of healing would blow and wash them away soon enough. But when people do good, carve that experience in stone so that nothing can blow or wash them away and remain perpetually etched in your memory for your whole life. For to err is human, to forgive divine.

Moral Values/Principles

It is imperative for our modus operandi to be based strongly on moral values, principles and being compassionate and just. This must be your shining light to light up the path you travel so that even when the whole world has changed, values are eroded, principles are compromised and all else in degeneration, you must remain steadfast. Look at things from a special angle. 

There will be times that you may want to strangle someone at the office or tear their hair out but when you later realise that his/her mother was gravely ill, his wife just left him for another woman (ouch!!) or his daughter just ran away from home, your attitude will somehow reconcile. These guiding principles will be your rock in good times and in bad. Hold them dearly to your heart and choose wisely. Of what good is it to profit the whole world but to loose his own soul? Build this into your conscience. Humans have a built in conscience so that they know by and large what is right and what is wrong. 

There are many wrongs today despite this because many still like to choose wrong. It may be because it is more convenient, it seems cool and fashionable or all your peers are doing it or among your clique you were outnumbered. There are many who just after doing wrong could blurt out: "My conscience is clear". We need to have all these ingrained into us so that it becomes inherent, by default and is part of us. It is a habit, a practice. Doctors who practise medicine calls it a practice since he practise it everyday. As I write, I am reminding myself of all these virtues again and since I have to read what I write it will be doubled.

Heaven & Hell

A person died and was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter who brought him to God. God wanted him to see Heaven and Hell. He was brought to a room where he could see that the people were suffering. They were trying to feed themselves with very long spoons that was impossible to reach their own mouths. They all looked under-nourished, weak and sickly. 

He was then shown another room where all the people were healthy, hearty and happy even though they were issued the same long spoons. He could not understand with his limited human understanding and asked God why. God said: "In the first room, it was Hell and the second was Heaven because in Heaven as you could see, the people were not trying to feed themselves but they were feeding each other." So do you feed one another especially at the work place?

Humility

When people are successful, rich and powerful, it is hard to contain the excitement to live, speak and act differently. After all, you owe your success to yourself. Beware the Narcissus effect. Remember those very people who in many different ways played the part in helping you get there. The difference between success and failure is a thin line. Many who failed could have succeeded spectacularly and vice versa. Some say it is hard work, others call it luck. 

Whatever it is, be humble. Think of the less fortunate and the many others slogging away who earns only a pittance. Give back to society by sharing your wealth, your time and your knowledge. Being humble means we listen to others for no matter how lowly they seem to you in their professions or status, they too have their stories to tell. Being at the wrong time and place by virtue of your birth, the circumstances surrounding you, we too could have been like them. 

Don't you think so? In the old days, being the first born means you have to discontinue education so that as the eldest child, one could go to work early to bring back the bacon to feed the family in order for the younger children to have a better education. Humility is a simple understanding that we could have ended up very differently living a life of extreme poverty, hardship and ill health, etc. where there is little hope and much despair. These are the reasons which prompted people like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet to put in so much money and effort into the Gates Foundation funding battles against, Aids, Malaria, poverty, etc., etc. Yes, they are super-rich but they are giving all or almost all they have got plus spending time doing it. To be great, just simply be humble. Jesus served. He had even wash the feet of his disciple.

Personal Development

You are wondering by now that if you were to digest all these you may become a genius, an angel or you simply felt no inner peace no more. Nobody is perfect. If you have 100% of 30-40% of these or 50% of all these, you are on your way. We are works in progress. We need to hone the skills by practising it. Use real people and real life situation to practise your kindness, compassion, forgiveness, whatever is good, etc. and watch how your life change.

Revenge of The Sieve

Like a sieve which separates the wheat from the chaff, we need to differentiate. Differentiation of good from bad, truth from untruth will be the cornerstone of all our dealings. This discernment is necessary. It would enable and enrich since it shall separate the men from the boys, the good from the bad, the great from the good, the wheat from the chaff. Let the sieve exact a deserving revenge - a discernment for separation as mentioned above.

Humour

Life is dour and insipid without humour. Be of good cheer always by having a good sense of humour. Do not take life too seriously and never take yourself too seriously. Find funny moments in everything as they are everywhere. Laugh out loud (LOL), break into guffaws often. Make people laugh and smile often. More importantly, learn to laugh at yourself. It is okay to let others laugh at you too. 

If you look at things around the world, the prospects are grim whether you laugh and smile often or you continue to sulk. Surround yourself with happy, cheerful and positive people. It takes only a minute to find extraordinary people, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and a whole life time to forget them. Humour is also always the best medicine.

Be Watchful & Merciful

Al Capone, Hitler and Saddam Hussein were once cute, innocent little babies and lovely boys but look at what they have done! What and how did they grow into who they were? Be watchful at all times. Watch others and learn what are good and bad then watch yourself. A person cannot be bad overnight as only food rot overnight. If you ever have an urge to say or do something improper or nasty, remember the people who are recipients of your negative force could be someone's parents, wife, children, siblings, etc. Now reverse it and see someone else doing the same to your parents, wife, children, siblings, etc. How do you like it? Wouldn't you wish that they are more merciful. This thought shall help you to feel more restrain and compassionate.

When you are on top and winning, be merciful. Someday, you may need the same mercy when you are on your way down.

You Are A Winner!

A long time ago, when you were not even aware of your very own existence, a mega race of a lifetime, a race to survive or perish took place. No other race in history or in living memory is bigger or has more competitors. Not the SEA, Asian, Commonwealth or even the Olympic games. 9,999,999 sperm cells swam and raced to the ovary and only one made it and was declared the undisputed winner bringing you into being! 1 out of 9,999,999! In a nutshell - You are a winner!!! Do not let others tell you otherwise.

At a funeral, the priest was giving his eulogy to a man who has died and he said: "What you see here is only the shell. The nut has already gone to Heaven." It is the soul baby. All about the soul.

Inner peace is not about what others do to you or your circumstances and situation but what you do and what you can do tapping the reservoirs of living waters in you in response to everything else in spite of what has happened and what may happen to you.

So be watchful always. As Warren Buffet has said: "It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's swimming naked." In Star Wars speak, they would say "let the force be with you". It is a phrase used in the olden days of witchcraft when they depart after meeting. Make sure it it not the farce to be with you. I would rather say Good Bye since Good Bye is derived from God Bless Ye. If only just one person could have benefitted from this sharing, it would have been well worth it.

Adios for now.


P.S. Clear Your Bowels

Clear your bowels everyday. The best time would be in the morning. This way you do not need to carry excess baggage of yesterday. It will clog your judgement, feelings and sense of well being. Haha!