Inner Peace 3 - Return of The Jaded

Make Peace Not War

As much as it is possible, be on good terms with everyone but at the same time knowing you can never please everyone. Never hit out at anbody at first for it may be a simple misunderstanding or misinterpretation. In other words, do not hurt anyone unless you are very sure that someone needs to be sent to the cleaners or have their faces re-arranged. Be prepared for some unreasonable remarks or action said or taken against you maybe even a couple of blow and at the right time when the facts are out it is never too late to go for the jugular. 

You know exactly what I mean when you watch Rocky usually being portrayed as the underdog and severely punished before he lashed out furiously and victoriously.

It's like a good military doctrine which exudes confidence being a able to take at least a blow first before retaliating. After taking this unnecessary and aggressive attacks, retaliation, defence and counter-attacks must be swift and decisive. Take no prisoners. Oops! I mean take no POW to torture them. In order to have peace sometimes you have to go to war. That is on the condition that you have fulfilled your will of "as much as possible, be on good terms with everyone. 

But your fight must always be for the protection of the innocent, the weak, the defenceless and in defence of the truth. You do not respond to name calling, childish taunts, dares or minor misunderstanding so that when the time come for a response it is always right. You do this consistently so that the United Nations know that you are right. Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall inherit the earth. 

When you see a dispute or misunderstanding, make peace. It is a truism that if you have nothing good to say about someone don't say anything at all. Help make the dispute smaller and weed out the unpleasant situation into a winning one and not add fuel for burning or salt to wound and create more mischiefs. War is treacherous and nobody wins. Every effort must be made to salvage each situation before waging war. Choose peace.

Friendship

I saw the movie directed by Clint Eastwood, Flags of our Father. People go to war for their country but they die for their friends in the most treacherous of situations. This is the highest form of friendship. If you ever find someone who goes out of his or her way to help foster and cement friendships among friends, consider yourself very fortunate. He/she is an angel. In our modern fast-paced, impatient, mobile phone and gadgets infested society, such people are hard to find and are indeed rare and bordering on extinction. 

Where everyone and everything are so demanding and having such high expectations of you including yourself, most people do not even have time for themselves much less their friends given the hectic pace in our daily life. Friends are what you make of them since if you are a friend who gives of your time generously and freely, show consideration for others then you make your friends to be generous and kind too. If you take friends for granted then end up pretty much the same. 

Birds of a feather flock together. If you hang out with people who are boisterous, swear profanities and vulgarity is their lingo then you will soon be that. You may feel discomfort at first but after a few months, such uncouthed mannerisms may become quite acceptable and several months later, you begin swearing like them, maybe teaching them a few new swear words. Why? Because you have been de-sensitised. You develop immunity and become like them. Choose your friends carefully.

Do you give without expecting anything in return? Do you take time to stay in touch? Or are you merely too consumed by your own interests and success that you forget your friends? Check yourself in introspection. When a person is able to build lasting relationships with family, friends, co-workers, bsuiness associates, etc. he shall enjoy great success in life. 

They understood that friendship freely given and gratefully recieved is life's greatest gift. They take time and trouble to stay connected, make sure they respond in kind and often initiates being a friend. The greatest gifts in life is not found in an envelope or is gift-wrapped but they are gifts of your time and yourself. A kind word, a listening ear, an encouraging email or just a small courtesy well uttered will be always be appreciated and remembered.

Leadership

All humans have a conscience and belief to know right from wrong.
This is something that is in built so that we can have the power to choose to have a more rewardng and fulfilling life. Make sure that you based on doing the right thing for your family, friends, colleagues and yourself when setting your goals in life. When others see that you are a fair, just, generous, caring and principled person, they will move heaven and earth for you. 

A fundamental role of leadership is to share the credit for success with others but take the blame for failures alone. Never ask others to do whatever things you are reluctant to do yourself. This is again leadership by example. A great leadership quality is the ability to persuade others to share your vision so that you can then join forces to pursue a common objective. 

Until you can achieve this, you will never be able to persuade them to join your cause. Effective leaders recognize that one can never sacrifice the value of working together and learn how to follow directions before one can be entrusted with the responsibility for the performance of others. Great leaders show by example how they expect others to behave. 

Everybody knows how to shout orders but you cannot push and force others to follow your example. You can only pull them along and when you can show them by your every word and deed of your character, that you work for the greater good of the team or organisation, people will follow. 

You will then find them more responsive to requests than to orders. Over a period of time, you will build a very high level of trust. There is a Chinese saying: "There is a great man who makes every man feel small. But the really great man is the man who makes every man feel great."

Compassion and Kindness

A common human trait is that we tend to respond to other people in the same way they treat us.

Most people remember the kindness you have extended to them and one day when you least expect it but when you need it most, help can appear from a totally unexpected source. Any kindness shown to others need not be expensive or given in large doses but a kind and encouraging word, a friendly gesture, some form of assistance at work, a helping hand in carrying some groceries. 

Whenever you help someone cheerfully without asking for favours in return, you are setting forth the law of compensation that places that person in yor debt and you will have gained a friend who is interested in your well being and success. With a little bit of your kindness and compassion which require little effort, you may have lifted a heavy burden of some troubled soul who may be undergoing tremendous stress or severe strain in life. 

You are setting a powerful force that will touch people who once being touched and being a recipient of such goodwill will find it hard to contain it within themselves and will themselves begin to spread the love and goodwill. People will normally respond in kind for in every action there will be a reaction and they may respond even in greater measure than what is delivered to them. Every cause there is an effect. 

Do not indulge in or trade tirades and commence a chain of negative retaliation but rather exchange and retaliate in positives, compassion and kindness. Set aside your pride and treat those who may have mistreated you with kindness and eventually they will succumb to your positive influence and retaliate in kind. Napoleon Hill said: "The hottest coals of fire ever heaped upon the head of one who has wronged you are the coals of human kindness." But it may not be easy and will take time to make it work. Patience and tolerance are required. What goes around comes around, so spread the love.

Return of The Jaded

The modern life is a stressful one but it is a different kind of stress from the old days. Success brings with it new problems. When you can only have meat like chicken and duck only during festive occasions in days gone by, today one can have chicken for breakfast, duck for lunch and roast pork for dinner. And since you no longer work a a farmer but sat at a desk all day, new problems developed in the form of diseases, etc. We have shorter fuse, at home, at work or when driving on the roads and since everybody does it anyway, you are normal.

Singapore is too small to afford us complete luxuries of life that some countries could since they have natural resources. Like it or not, we are caught in a vicious cycle. Take 5, take your breaks, go for your run, sports, watch a movie, whatever takes your mind away. Even machines break down. Focus your energy and your mind on positives, not on some people who have offended you or some problems that crop up. 


Yes, we all feel jaded sometimes. Maybe even feeling defeated, you feel like quitting. Sometimes, all we really need is some sleep. Sleep on it instead of worrying over it. When you awake the next day, the problem may still be there but you will be feeling much better having recovered with good rest and sleep leaving you in a better position to deal with the problem. Even the anger has simmered. Sometimes, the problem solve itself.

Homing pigeons will come home, cows will come home (till the cows come home) and chickens return to roost. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going thus ensuring the path is clear for The Return of The Jaded. So come home to yourself, comeback!