The Elders

The Elderly

There are people who believe that there is no God and that religion is something used to scare you to hell if you do not obey. Some may think that when they asked you to obey and respect the elders, you are being forced or coerced into it. They need a story to frighten you so that you will respect and take care of the elderly.

I do not know about you but I think most of us love our grandmothers and grandfathers. Firstly, grandparents foster a certain kind of love on their grandchildren that parents could never do. Grandparents seldom scold their grandchildren and sometimes are even a refuge for a child in trouble with their parents. They dote on the little ones and protect them but as your parents they would punish you without hesitation. If you do not understand this, wait. Your turn will come when you become a grandparent one day. "Children's children are a crown to the aged and parents are the pride of their children" - Proverbs 17:8.

My only regret is I have never seen or was too young to experience a relationship with my grandfathers and then they were gone but grannies were all special to me. I feel comfort in their presence and in the old days, grannies keep their clothes cabinet full of mothballs. So when granny is near you could smell mothballs. Grandparents brought our parents up despite tremendous hardship in the past and then our parents did the same bringing us up and now we do the parenting for the generation next.

When I was a child and whenever I see granny unwell in their older age (not just having a flu) but something more serious that requires hospitalization, I feel a tinge of sadness. Grannies do not like to go to a hospital. Maybe they see their friends go there and never came back. They are not wrong as the modern super-bug has proven and some do not eventually go due to their disease but through pneumonia. With no concept of God at a young age, I would naturally pray to God and asked for help, healing and recovery for my beloved grandmas. I mean who else can be of help in our present and future troubles?

In our days of success and plenty, it is good to go visit someone at a hospital once in awhile because at a hospital you begin to see lots of sick people and the aged. Pain, agony and suffering becomes real. It helps to remind us that we are mere mortals and that someday we too will grow old. You think that old people are slow and clumsy, I assure you that your time will come soon enough.

Can you pause and imagine losing your sight, hearing, reflex action, etc. Even pains and aches here and there. Have you ever experienced or heard stories of families afflicted by the aged sick where long term care is needed for the elderly? It is not an easy problem for care-givers in the family. There is great mental distress. Care-givers themselves may even need extra help or counselling.

Keep Fit

Who should care for our elderly? We will be among the elderly one day and there is vested interest here for everyone. In fact, the population is aging rapidly there won't be enough nursing homes in future. It will be good if we try to take good care of ourselves such that hopefully we do not need to rely on such help or at least delay it to a very old age. So let's keep ourselves fit as a first step. Of course nothing is guaranteed but we owe it to do something now and hopefully we won't be a liability in future.

Family Care

The next best option would be family care. Recent media attention has been on nursing homes, caregivers and old people dying alone in their own homes. It is wrong to mistreat our elderly. Period. Is the problem so simple that a quick fix could settle it? Singapore society I hoped has not become so practical that people are measured by their current usefulness. I have read, heard and seen people who rush their children to A class wards and hospitals for the smallest things but sent their parents to C class wards or nursing homes. Home care remains the best care but everyone is already highly stressed in their jobs so who would care for the elderly? Probably none. Then how? Nursing home or maid? Home is probably the best place to be but then there are those who need proper care, therapy or medical attention.

Nursing Homes

In a situation like this a nursing home may be a necessity especially when the elderly needs round the clock specialized care. However, increasingly our reliance has been on foreign workers be it in F & B, hospitals, nursing homes and everywhere. Such jobs often go to foreigners because they are low-paying and labour-intensive. Few locals would accept them anyway. Maybe something has to be done to get locals to do it. These jobs are actually strenuous, tough and stressful. You have to carry elderly patients and change nappies. There could have been language barrier between elderly patients and foreign workers. We will probably have to overhaul the system and structures and raise the skills and profile of these workers. There may be ex nurses and caregivers who wanted to continue but didn't have a chance for work?

None of us would like to be in nursing homes unless all your friends are there drinking beer with you or it has a 9-hole golf course. Your caddie may be an 80 year old guy they called "eagle-eyes" and when you tee off he can see where your balls went but when you got there he can't remember a thing.

Maids

Should maids be given a mandatory one day off per week? God created the world in 6 days and on the 7th day He rested. So what do you think? Domestic helpers are humans, even machines need rest. If you have to work 7 days a week how do you feel? But of course employers have fears. What if the maid gets pregnant, runs away, etc. Well, employers feel this way only because the onus is on them to be fully responsible for the maid during her entire stay here. Who would feel safe being responsible for something you have no control over. Worse, if something happens, you will stand to lose your deposit of what or how much? $5,000? It's a stupid rule then we wonder why we have this problem in Singapore. But I heard this rule has been adjusted some what?

I heard that in other countries like Hong Kong, the domestic helpers do not live in and the employers are not responsible outside of the job. Silly rules continue to plagued us and it is small wonder that maids are killing themselves for having to take proficiency tests in English. I thought what we need in a maid are honesty, home chores, taking care of the young or elderly, perhaps cook a little. Why not Apple just create an iMaid or we do our own eMaid so that pictorials are given for the maid to select on a touch screen? And if the question is on how to dry a baby after shower and they select the picture of a microwave as the answer do they fail the test. Anyway, some people may not be able to let the maid off for good reason which we do not know.

What Is Elderly?

Is the elderly an age criteria? The elderly are a resource of wisdom and experience. The adage that they have eaten more salt than you have eaten rice is true. They have experience more pain and suffering than you. They have all overcame tremendous odds. That is why we as a nation is having a better life. If you have shopped at Robinsons in the past, all the old staffs there are not only knowledgeable but very helpful. Let me share a story of Singapore's very own Mother Teresa - she is none other than ex-nurse Teresa Hsu.

Teresa Hsu

Teresa Hsu is 113 years old. Yes no mistake about that. 113 years is totally illogical. It is not normal. She is not just 113 years old but she is still strong with all faculties functioning and I suspect even better than many of us. When she spoke, she could remember dates and so on. Amazing! Some of the people I may have beer with the night before can't even remember what they said the previous night.

Teresa said: "Senior citizens today need loving kindness, company and food. Many of them do not have enough food." She remembered that when she was seven, she was very poor and very hungry and resorted to eating grass and pledged that "as long as it is within my power, nobody should eat grass and that is my work caring for those who do not have the basic needs." Born in a caring but poor family in a tiny village of Swatow in 1898, she has travelled far and wide and left indelible marks in countries like England, Paraguay and Hong Kong before she came to Singapore.

She felt great pain in her heart whenever she witnessed sufferings of fellow human beings. She recounted how she encountered a beggar begging for food after she had just attended a lavish company dinner. She then decided that she would donate money to the less fortunate than to spend it on herself but still she felt it was not enough. At 47 and against all odds, she boarded a cargo ship to England to study nursing at the Royal London Free Hospital. Her strong desires impressed the Council who accepted her in a 3-year course meant for those aged 17-25. During her summer breaks, she worked as a volunteer in many countries like Denmark, Germany, Switzerland, Norway and Spain. She had even gone to Paraguay to help Jewish refugees.

In 1961, she moved to Singapore. She received no money for her work as a matron at Kwong Wai Shiu Hospital before she opened an old folks' home in 1965. The $150,000 was funded by her elder sister who was a school principal. After 20 years, she retired and gave attention to her welfare service "Heart To Heart" where she still works today. She still travels overseas to share with others her experience. Wisdom, compassion and love. Somebody once said that a person who earns less will feel less dignified when talking to one who earns a lot more. Put her side by side with a CEO and see who is the one who should feel ashamed.

Her message to young people (I think young people are those below 100 years old) : "Go all out to help those who do not have the basic needs. See that nobody needs to go hungry".

Isn't she lovely? Isn't she a God-sent and a blessing? An incredible inspiration!! Let her share with you her "hahaha" recipe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAv9_IefGxM&feature=player_embedded

When you open the day's newspapers or through other media and read about Teresa Hsu, I hope you feel a sense of hope and happiness because in some other pages you are going to find some articles about some rich people who got their inheritance after their elders have passed on and yet who go to court to sue one another even as siblings for more money. Many of them are actually professionals, successful businessmen and already very well to do. What is a million to your millions? Actually very little or in fact not much significance.

Yes and indeed we must do something to engage our elders. Those many elderly who collects cans and cartons or those whose only meaningful employment are to work as cleaners. Surely they can be better dignified? We are the future old, you and I so we have to do the right things now for the future to be right. Look at this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kpLDkWg5DA&playnext=1&list=PLEBE08492BAEBCECA

What about the significance of another person being helped? Ah, now you see. Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound. That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found. Was blind but now I see. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmmsoLR-0sA.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHsB04VZH18&feature=related.

In a recent report, a survey found that Singaporeans thought they were graceful but others are not. Amazing Grace is what we need!