The Young And Restless
Save Our Children
The last time I said that when tuition centres are flourishing, something is wrong. I saw that there were many who could not read nor write when they started primary school during my time but now all children can do that well before theirs. Once when I went to get primary six school text books for my child they were sold out even when they have printed surplus. Why? Because parents of primary five students bought them up and I presume to get their children to be smarter doing next year's work this year. I wonder if these parents would bury themselves with next year's work so they can get smarter and get ahead of others? Save our children please.
Next I have seen or heard of parents who were unhappy when their children drop a little from say 95 to 90 marks even though they are still within band one and later when you see teenagers crying because they had seven distinctions out of nine, something is not quite right. Then there are some who make their children swim, do ballet, play piano, etc. I fear that everyone would grow up smart but without a soul. Super IQ, zero EQ.
In case you are not aware, the stress level may be too much for our young children today. Do not forget that when we were used to being asked to go out to play, today's young children goes back home some to an empty house where all neighbour's doors are closed and their communication is through the computer or mobile phones. They are lonely.
Here's America with "Lonely People": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRDnEqW1vAc, this is for all the lonely people thinking that life has passed them by. Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup...
For those who got seven distinctions and cried, many many more do not get distinctions and many may not even have passed. What do we call these people? Failures? Why do they fail? Are they stupid? They fail because they were not given a chance to do what they are good at or what they have a passion for and we gave them subjects because we need these people in future. If you fear water and I give you this subject to train for and then rush you to take a test you are likely to feel stressed, fail even if tuition is given. You will also have a constant fear of water. That was what I have seen some swimming coaches dishing out to children. They won't learn and will hate swimming.
Many parents have some kind of underlying insecurity. All parents want and/or think that their children are the best so they give then all kind of help that they think is good for them. From the time a child is born, what was the wish you have for him/her? To be very successful so that they can bring home lots of money in future? Or to be healthy and happy? Anybody who is happy and feels loved will do well. Please do no think that your child must be a high flyer or scholar. Let them find their own way and niche, have many true and good friends, contribute to society and help others. Isn't this regarded as success? Let me offer a simple advice - everything you complained about your in-laws, you will be the same when you become one. So too your complaints about your parents. This is the same in an organisation, you do not see the problems of another department until you are headed there.
Go ask your family doctors and you will realize that many children today falls sick quite frequently. Usually they are not feinting. A child going through stress may not manifest or exhibit the same symptoms as an adult. They are unable to express themselves about the stress that they are going through. Some throw tantrums, others keep quiet. Yet some begin to fall sick - diarrhea, nausea, etc. They lose interest and the results get worse. It is sometimes difficult for even adults to understand why some children including teenagers behave in certain ways. Adults do the same too, they drag their feet to the office or drink themselves silly.
Teen Dilemma
All human beings are created in a way where we want to achieve and be proud of our achievements and share with friends and love ones. But there are some slave drivers who believe that people are all lazy and needed to be cruelly whipped so that they will perform. These are people who themselves are lazy so they think you are like them. Even if you tell your children "don't worry, just do your best and be yourself and we always love you no matter what". Reassuring? It is correct because love for children must be unconditional but do not forget they have friends and peer pressure.They may possibly feel inferior or lack self-esteem or confidence as their siblings and friends may be doing better. Or simply they just fear they may disappoint their parents whom they love dearly. They are also looking for their own identity. I urge all parents to review their expectation and relationship with their children. Now!
Their body too is undergoing changes and having hair creeping all over on you around your arm pit can be a frightening thing. Or maybe they may try to help a friend who has family problems and get pulled under. Today's children live a hurried life and they have no say or control over their own lives and this leads to stress too. While some level of stress may be necessary for us to improve and have a better threshold, too much is a bad thing.
Parents must be watchful of their children's needs and emotional well-being. Support them without pampering or over-protecting them. All extremes and excesses are dangerous. The authorities are more aware and are making changes but these changes are going to take a long time and you can't reverse the monster now. When it was announced that there will be no primary one exams, what happened? Parents rushed to enlist at tuition centres so that they could give their children exams. Others rushed to snap up exam papers. To get a head start like Alonso? Sigh, the relentless push for academic excellence. So who do we blame? Teachers? If teachers can make learning fun, more people will enjoy learning don't you think. Give teachers the time to provide interesting and meaningful teaching. Retain teachers who have the passion for teaching and who has the love for children. No qualification can replace that. Do not make teachers tired busy doing the wrong things. Let them focus on teaching.
When a child is weak in a subject, what do you do? Pile him up with more homework? This is happening but it will never work. Why not reduce contents of all subjects as this will benefit the majority of people. Even as experience adults can you learn much crashing through piles of work? Before they are even ready you give them tests because you are hard-pressed for time to cover the syllabuses after which they are labelled as failures. Are teachers busy doing the wrong things? Are we adults really as capable? If not why the children?
All educationists, teachers, principals, parents should take note and come together to put their act together so that we will not churn our soulless children and what is all these nonsense of making students coming back to school during the school holidays??? Like workaholics who come back to work when they are on leave? Working on a laptop on vacation at the beach? When a tsunami comes, the laptop may survive but you won't.
Many children out there are very intelligent but some are under-performing and stressed out not because they are not good. Parents are over-anxious and stressed out and I am sure the teachers too. Why do we create such a situation for ourselves which is so unnecessary? Why do we take so long to realize and do something? I speak on behalf of the students the ones suffering the most and have no voice, the teachers and most parents. Let me assure one and all that the best way for people to learn is to let them play more, have fun and most importantly to make learning fun. If you attend a seminar, the speaker or trainer makes a difference whether you doze off.
Play & Play
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy. I envy "mere toy" Jacks out there who plays golf so often that it is better to ask them which day they are not playing. Look at the figurines in the pix and see how many countless ways you can bend and adjust it. It is up to your own imagination really. Some of us used to play with such toy figurines when young and we make our own movies. I used to and some aunts would remind me that I used to. Without an element of fun, it is hard to stretch the imagination or to do serious work.
How can children have fun when they are immersed in a world where they are being prepared for Primary 1-readiness in advance and then schools keep upgrading and expecting more. They hang banners proclaiming their high 90s percentage in passes in various subjects and each year standards are raised to qualify for Secondary schools and then to JCs and there on to the University. Yet the most profound things are for children to have lots of time to enjoy reading books purely for pleasure, to play as it is playing where you can be at your most creative or simply engaging themselves in an imaginary world. These are imperative to a child's overall development in terms of thinking skills, creativity and the ability to have opinions. Rote learning cannot produce an interesting person. There are some folks who may feel guilty to relax or take things easy from time to time. In our ongoing dilemma, anything deemed as failure in a child's own mind can lead them to feel depress. How do we end this vicious cycle? The answer my friend is Blowing In The Wind...as Bob Dylan sang and catching the wind is elusive. How do we stop this monster that we have unleashed and tame it? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zhrzs25lwvw
Our young people are restless. What must we do to help them? How soon?
The Young & Restless Theme
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2Nu01FzhLY&feature=search
Henry Mancini with Nadia's Theme
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1_xDytEB1Q&feature=search
To all those out there, children or teenagers written off as failures - academic failures, do note that you have other qualities, undiscovered talents, untapped resources and an abundance of gifts that can lead you to great success later in life. I have not only read and heard but seen countless real life stories of many turning what was deemed as failure into success mostly beyond imagination. Look no further than yours truly. While I am no roaring success (just yet), I am certainly no failure. My vehicle have not crashed or caught fire. Still in the loop. In Singlish, it's "eat also not fat, hungry also won't die". Just consider ourselves a work in progress. Success in just around the corner. You only know Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson and can rattle off a few other names but there are hundreds and thousands of professional golfers out there who does not even come in to have a mention but they kept on working on it and some day you get a few new names to the fore front.
Forcing ourselves to learn what others want us to learn has no meaning for me and I believe to a great number of people. It is also learning what others had already learned and remembering things taught by others. Yawn. Listen good, Albert Einstein was just an average student, quite ordinary and his teachers probably didn't think too much of him. Geniuses my friends are rule-breakers, they ask questions all the time instead of accepting what is dished out for them. Of course you will need some background knowledge and some foundation but keep the hunger, the passion, keep the fire burning - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkkCh4bymjg, keep the belief in yourself. (listen to REO Speedwagon), keep finding new ways to do things, experiment, have courage and fear not. If everybody is doing the same things, nobody is learning new things.
Sir Edmund Hilary, the first man to conquer Mount Everest did not stop there. He has to go for that next ascent - the summit of Mount Makalu. Everest was only the beginning. In other words, when everything is too easy, there is no meaning. If we can take all kinds of new ideas never mind if they are funky and gel them together to create new things, we can be in the game of our lives. This is why my emphasis on play. This is also why some organisations want people outside of their industry to offer new perspective. When chefs create a new dish it is through playing and experimenting with food and achieving a breakthrough. It is like a game of rearranging words to form new words from there. Like mother-in-law = woman Hitler.
I have said countless times that each of us is a champion. Everybody has the potential to be great. We need to have a mind that do not subscribe to boundaries of limit. All we need is to discover and to have the opportunities. Don't you ever give up Champ!
Enjoy the music of David Lanz's Dreams Of The Forgotten Child:
What happens when tortured souls grow up? They become like me. Sorry to have frightened you.
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