EPL - Prelude

John Terry and Jaoa Havelange are suffering from soccer's annus horribilis. They are not suffering from horrible anus problems like diarrhoea, constipation or piles. They just had a horrible year! What about you? May to August without EPL soccer. Fortunately you have had the Euro 2012 and then the Olympics but you don't really do soccer for the Olympics as it is no substitute for the World Cup. Fast forward and soon we are back to the weekly grind of EPL soccer now that we have gotten over with the curtain raiser of the Charity Shield. You may be thinking that there will be a slew of new and big signings by the EPL clubs but I don't have to tell you what's happening in Europe.

European champions Chelsea has signed Eden Hazard for 32 million pounds and coming in as Ligue 1's player of the season and Germany's Marko Marin plus Brazilian Oscar who featured in the Olympics (23 million pounds). They are hoping that Oscar can help to land Neymar eventually? Porto's other Brazilian forward Hulk in also on the radar and they are also looking at Victor Moses of Wigan. This means Chelsea has great ambition to play a more entertaining and attacking game. League champions Manchester City has really only added Everton's English youngster Jack Rodwell, an acquisition for the future. They are still looking at Liverpool's Daniel Agger and Swansea's Scot Sinclair but they have enough firepower with Carlos Teves, Silva, Aguero and Balotelli. Or is it another way of winning by buying up the competition for Moneybags City?

Meanwhile, Arsenal has awaken from the transfer slumber with one fell swoop they have landed German international Lukas Podolski, Spanish international Santi Cazorla and France international Oliver Giroud probably in anticipation of Robbie van Persie leaving and if he doesn't, they will be even stronger. They may also sign Spain international Isco from Malaga. RVP is gunning to be a Red Devil as they usually say that it was because they wanted to win somnething but the truth is that the money is so much better due to Arsenal's wage ceiling. Why would Arsene Wenger want to sell to Sir Alex Ferguson anyway? RVP may have forgotten about his seasons of injury when the Gunners stood by him. They may well not be but they should be gunning for honours this season?

Manchested United's IPO in the USA has fallen flat. Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes are looking my age and the only signing is Shinji Kagawa who is replacing the aging Park Ji Sung who has been off-loaded to QPR. It seemed that more people are interested in his porn star girl friend Ameri Ichinose. I'm pretty sure she is already a hit on Google and Youtube by now. Sure, you will get an Itchynose and become Ichibawa-san (itchy bawa).

Tottenham has lost Harry Redknapp and in came Andre-Villas Boas who was sacked by Chelsea. Their signing has been Jan Vertonghen to beef up the defence but Adebayor is not moving unless he got more money? Will Modric move? Will M'Vila sign from Rennes? Newcastle has been the major surprise last season. Papiss Cisse, Demba Ba, Bem Arfa and Cabaye have been such a revelation. Can they continue where they have left off? But they are all carrying injuries and may miss the important opener at home to Tottenham. What a pity!

The most interesting team for us to watch may be Liverpool. Will the tunnel sign "This Is Anfield" strike fear in their opponents again? Can the relatively inexperienced new manager Brendan Rodgers make Liverpool do tiki-taka? Will it work in the EPL? If the relative unknown players at Swansea can play it so pretty, why not Liverpool who should have the better players? Can the current crop of players forget their old habits and quickly adopt new ones? Gerrard is aging and will probably play a  more withdrawn role like for England in the Euro and Lucas is back to reinforce the defence just in front of the back line.

Joe Cole is back from loan and this style will suit him. Two smaller strikers in the creative and innovative Luis Suarez and new signing Italian Fabio Borini may be just what the good doctor ordered. On top of this, Rodgers finally got hold of his former Swansea Welsh midfield maestro Joe Allen, a technically gifted player who will be the centre of his passing distribution. Besides, Fulham's top-scoring American international Clinton Dempsey may join.

Can Norwich, Swansea and QPR do as well or survived another season. What about the newcomers West Ham, Southampton and Reading? Watch this space as I bring you the predictions of EPL Game Week 1.....

Meantime, watch how you should never take a penalty.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpCpZ7dH9y4

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