The Weather

Singapore actually has three seasons - hot, hotter, hottest! It was no wonder that when Mr. Lee Kuan Yew, a man of great intellect when asked what was the world's greatest invention ever and he said it is the humble air-conditioner. Now is the time when instead of saving the planet, everyone is trying to save himself. Crack an egg on the car and it will fry. 


Normally for golfers, when they see blue skies, they are likely to smile. Not any more now. One can feel the pain when the sunlight hits your skin and although already humid, it gets worse when it suddenly pours and things become unbearable when the heat from the ground starts rising.

We are fortunate that we have lots of trees and you won't really appreciate then till you get hot days like these, what these trees do makes a huge difference. If you are in Bangkok or Hong Kong, there are not many trees in the city. Look at the picture of a clear blue sky, it is so clear and blue without a cloud in sight. Look at the shining street compared to the shades of trees.

Have you experienced weather so warm that the heat is searing and where even the ground glitters like gold. It gets so unbearable and you will also see mirages on the roads like a puddle of water and only when you get near do you realise your eyes are playing tricks on you. Maybe golfers could see an ice-cream stall in the middle of nowhere manned by beautiful women in bikinis. 

I can tell you that is a mirage or it could be a Golf Punk carnival? The worst thing is to get stranded in no man's land and then you crawled for miles looking for water and then in the opposite direction you see a crocodile looking half-dead and crawling your way looking for water too. Then many years from now, they thought they found the fossils or two creatures fighting when a meteorite struck.

So hot the ground glitters.

Then suddenly, it rains.....and it even comes with flash lightning and thunder.

Sometimes, I ask people simple questions to learn and also to create an unusual situation where it got us thinking. Recently, after a golf game when we sat down for dinner, I asked the following questions to three other friends. It rained that day and was cooling. Three of us had a shower with the other person living nearby preferring to shower at home later. We were having a cold beer in an air-conditioned restaurant.

(1) Do you guys shower again when you get home or before you go to bed? The one who will shower at home of course said no but the other two said no too. Nothing wrong with that but for me I had to shower again before I can go to bed. I like that and besides, I perspire easily and profusely if there is such a term. What about the rest of you?

(2) Do you guys shower with cold water or do you use the heater? All of them said they use the heater. I don't. I never use the heater even on rainy days because I felt that it is already too warm and humid and in recent times, I walk out of the shower (after a cold shower) perspiring. If anyone calls me now and ask "Hey, what are you doing now?" I would say - perspiring. Sometimes, I may use a little of luke-warm water for cleaning purpose and opening up pores but always a cold shower as the grand finale.

(3) What is the brand of the washing machine you are using at home? Err....err...."to err is human and to forgive is divine". One confidently said that he knew where the washing machine was located.

Next is a question that I have not had the opportunity to ask but would like to ask now considering the weather these days and sometimes you may encounter in life - if you a guy is walking with an umbrella and it began to rain and when you saw a lady without an umbrella, would you offer to shelter her? I know the various options like - depends on how she looks or even some MCPs (Moronic Chivalrous Pigs) would give her the umbrella and walk in the rain himself till his cheap sales pants shrunk revealing that he isn't wearing any socks and the colour from his shirt runs. 

Probably the most logical step is to offer her to share the umbrella. But like in some movies, the moment you do that, the wife walks past or her friend saw it and reported it to her. What happens when you offer the brolly and the lady instead of thanking you look at you as if you were a lecher giving you a dirty look in return? Or should you just walk nonchalantly without a care to share and be accused of being ungentlemanly, the ugly Singaporean man! What if that person is not a lady but a guy? Does it change the equation? Man no need lah, be rugged? The solution?

Don't carry an umbrella. Former England manager Steve McClaren carried an umbrella during a stormy night when England lost to Croatia 2-3 and he was known as Wally with the Brolly. Maybe the best job out there is to be the weathermen. They are a bit like economists. "Cloudy with showers in a few areas" would be their reports most days. On a serious note, the weather has kaput all over the world. It snowed when it was not supposed to. Droughts, floods, typhoons are increasing in frequency and severity. If you are out in cold countries, better bring along thick clothing just in case the climate changes drastically suddenly when you are out.

Whether the weather is good or bad, we can't do anything about it. It is not only hot and humid now but you can see it's getting hazy. I just hope the haze will not be returning. In recent years, Hong Kong has been suffocating when China's desert dust together with the smog from pollution were blown southward and got trapped in Southern China and Hong Kong. 

Previously I have read that some expatriates left as a result and it's happening again. I couldn't see all the tall buildings from the plane and even when dining at the top of a hotel famous for its view of the harbour and when travelling by ferry from HK to Nansha in Guangdong, I couldn't see other vessels at sea. The ultimate happened when the guy in charge of studying air quality there in Hong Kong packed his bag and left for London. This is akin to being on a plane and then you see the pilot walking out of the cockpit with a parachute. Wonder how my friends there are coping.