Contentment

I welcome the newest visitors to my blog - readers from Poland, the Solomon Islands, Argentina and Turkey becoming the 47th to 50th countries.
What Is Contentment?

To content is willing to, satisfied. So contentment is satisfaction. On the other hand to contend is to strive, fight, dispute, quarrel. Is contentment complacency? In our modern pressure cooker society, if you are contented, will you be seen as complacent and/or lacking in ambition? Perhaps even lazy?

As a country prospers, we eat more meat and rich foods. We can now have beef/chicken/pork/lamb or whatever 24/7 where once upon a time, we do so only on festive occasions with each was given only a small portion. Bus stops were farther apart which means we always walk more and work pace and work/life balance were better. Are our bodies designed to take such abuse of modern day lifestyle and work demands? I think how we continuously respond to things around us that places so much demands on us is what will eventually kill us.

Long time ago they didn't know that people were dying from the aids virus because the diagnosis on the result of death was pneumonia and other causes but it was the aids virus that breaks down human immunity that was the real culprit. Stress is just like the aids virus. People are dying from cancer, heart attacks, diabetes, hypertension, strokes and so on and people seem to be suffering from an even younger age. Could stress be the main cause?

Resist & Control Fear

Most of us won't admit it but we have lots of fear. Some people fear losing their jobs, others fear not being able to achieve their performance targets. If we can fight to resist and control fear, despair and worry, the outcome can only be positive. Look back 5-10 years and try to recall all your worries and fears. How many of them that you imagined the worst of have come true. 1 in 10? Maybe none. You are still alive, doing fine and some doing exceedingly well.

Much of our stress today comes from our pursuit of the so called "good life" which the world proposes. Big houses, nice cars, exotic holidays. Adverts pound your head non-stop on billboards, TV, radio and the Internet. Up size, upgrade, out do! You are actually quite happy and contented but when you realise that your car is the oldest in the neighbourhood or your friends are getting bigger titles, you can suddenly feel inadequate like I must be doing something wrong as there isn't much progress.

Content or Contend?

At one time we used to be quite happy with a 21-inch TV set at home. Then we need two TVs. They offered 29-inch and it was good even though they were just CRT (Cathode Ray Tube). Technology advancement brought LCD - 32-inch then 37 and 42-inch. Now they have LED where images are so sharp you could see the strands of hair or a pimple on the face.

A guy riding a bicycle looking over his shoulder may envy the fellow on a motorbike. The small car owner wanted a bigger car, the old car owner wants a new and a bigger one. The big one wants a luxury one. Ditto for the house. There is nothing wrong to aspire, to aspire so that we can have a better and more comfortable life. If you could well afford it, go for your exotic holidays, wear your designer clothes after all it is your hard-earned money and you deserve it. If you are stagnant you may not improve. The trick is where and when to stop and in case you could not get what you want would you be bitter and miserable?

When you look ahead, there are many better off than you. It'll always be. It is not wrong to look ahead and aspire so that we can improve. If your focus is only to get there and nothing else you may come to a point of resignation and feeling disappointed. Turn back and look behind you and you will feel quite fortunate really because simply there are many who are worse off than you. You can have business or career planning but if you ambition is to get there at all costs, something have to give as you may end up hurting many people including your love ones and friends. You may infringe on your own morals and ethics as there is only a singular picture in your mind.

This is where one has to contend with either content or contend. Many highly successful people are folks who were driven by passion not by money. Would you put your money with Bill Gates when he was a nobody just starting out? Steve Jobs? The money came as a bonus when they were successful in their pursuits of their believe, passion and excellence. A minister said about being exceptional and that many of us stop at the 75% level. I see nothing wrong with that if 75% is your best and I see nothing wrong even if you are at 60% or less "if" you have tried your best. As long as you have tried there is no shame in it. Not everyone is equipped with the same gifts in life. The exceptional are exceptional if not everyone is the same. Bruce Lee was exceptional because he did not accept the norm, the standard of the day and he asked a lot of questions in pursuit of his interest. He revolutionised the art in martial arts! Discover your gifts and when you can do that, you will be exceptional.

How Much Is Enough?

We have to ask ourselves just one question: How much is enough? How much money is needed to compensate for your work? How much time is required to attain certain things? How much time should you devote to your family? How much glory do you need to soothe your ego? How much time do you need to spend to deepen your understanding of the universe? How much stuffs do you need to possess and owned and how do you define satisfaction? What is enough? Contentment and covetousness are striking at our very heart everyday. I have seen good people gone to waste when they just chase after money and fame. For we brought nothing with us into the world, we can take nothing out of it. If we have food, clothing, shelter will we be content?

Temptation

People who chase after glory, fame, power and money fall into temptation and into a trap which leads us to many foolish and harmful desires that throughout history have plunged men into destruction, ruin and griefs. The papers told you who tried to smuggle $7 million of winnings from the casino, the casinos told you how a lady won a Lamborghini, friends told us how some one won $1 million from the one arm bandit which I was given to understand is no longer one arm but a push button machine. Others told us about how some folks made bundles from property and stocks.

However, those who died by the way side, they didn't tell us anything and they don't do books on "How I Became A Loser" or "5-Step Guide To Become An Instant Moron". If only we were to focus and be happy with what we already have rather than to always yearn for things that we do not. People get into trouble because we are afraid to let such "good opportunities" pass us by. "Go for the kill!" they would say. Who kills who?

A young child proudly proclaimed that she knew what everybody likes in the family. She said her brother loves to eat hamburgers, her sister likes ice-cream, her mum loves pizza and she stopped there. The father was anxious to hear about what she thought he likes. "What about me, what do I like?" he asked. With the innocence of a child that she was, she said: "You like everything that we haven't got!"

We are living in a society of great discontent. Compulsive consumerism today is man-made leading us into a vicious cycle of having to work not only harder but longer and under greater stress than ever before so that we can have more to upgrade, acquire, consume more and more. There is no enough.

Covetousness

Covet is the root word which means "long to possess" especially "what belongs to others" while avarice is the greed for wealth. We will all face the struggle of covetousness as there are some point in life we may want what others have. It is not just money. It is not just rich people wanting to get richer as it applies to those who are not rich too. It applies to all in the lower or higher tax brackets. The problem is not money but the love of money. Some people would even cheat their own parents of their house and money and after their parents died, they would burn hell of a lot of hell money and burn them big paper houses. Others would covet another man's wife or husband.

If a person's heart is focus entirely on wealth, then everything he does has got to do with it. You will not wish to waste time to meet me or sit down with me because time is money so you feel it is better that you meet some one who within that hour or two could make you some. Some wealthy folks are used to being wealthy but they are humble and they know how to enjoy it responsibly and they may not love it for what it is. Look at Bill/Melinda Gates and Warren Buffet who gave billions to charitable causes all over the world under their foundation.

In an affluent culture, covetousness is real. We see people by where they live, what cars they drive, what pen they carry or the brand of watch they wear. Today's sportsmen like young soccer players are crying because they got only 150,000 pounds per week in salary alone. That's USD1.5 million dude! Then they have too much time so they gamble, drink and visit prostitutes. Mid-way through their contracts some threatened to quit because they were not paid enough. The truth is that whoever loves money never has enough. If you love wealth alone in life, you are never satisfied. In Greek, covetousness means a desire to have more.

Money

For the majority of people, money is the most important. It cannot be denied. It is the most powerful factor when considering success and satisfaction. It determines the substance of a lifestyle. Who wouldn't like? Some may have been despised when they were once poor. Now I can show you who's the boss. If this were the case then how much money is enough so that a person stop worrying altogether? Something that is so good is never enough! Do you say you are already cheerful and happy, it is enough. You want more of it. The more people made, the more they will spend on luxury cars, big houses with expensive dinners at fancy restaurants. We want more. Mmmm....I shall soon start a brand call "More!"

Money, Money, Money (Abba) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCkOmcIl79s

Love of money gives rise to corruption everywhere in the world. If your thoughts are defective you will have a defective life and lifestyle. If you aim to get a promotion, gain a profit at all costs because the opportunity is too good to be missed, then you have set yourself a trap and will be more willing to compromise integrity. If I can imitate a certain lifestyle it can get me to be with people who can further my career or business, you set a second trap. If it became an obsession, it will consumer you. It's a fire that needs constant feeding and as I have always said fire is a good servant but bad master. It certainly will consume your time, your energy and all your values.

In some countries or societies, wealthy people plays to different rules. If money is your God, then it rules you as you surrender to it helplessly, even worship it. Money is an enabler that empowers us to live life to a certain comfort level but life lived based on the power of money is just giving us substitutes like they use to say - it can buy a house but it can't buy you sleep, it will attract acquaintances but no real friends, you can buy entertainment but you can't buy joy, it can gain envy and admiration but not love, it can buy you medicine but it can't get you health. So, the balance is to know what money can do but "never lose those things that money can't buy". Like the Beatles say: Can't By Me Love: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMwZsFKIXa8

Watch Out!

Despite all the stories and press reports, there are still people who would deposit tens of thousands of dollars into an account in London or somewhere because a dude in some remote part of Africa told a story of his uncle who was royalty and who has illegally amassed a fortune of USD50 million but needed some one to do something for him, so because you are the nicest dude in the world he search the world and found you to be the most suitable one to help inherit it and for that he needed you to put thousands as lawyer fee and then you will eventually get 10% commission which works out roughly to be about USD5 million. What a lucky day! If there is no greed in our hearts and knowing it is illegal, even a fool would know better. Be on your guard.

Anything in this world that is too good to be true, it probably ain't true. Even a gain that you don't really have to work for may not be a good thing. You have read about people who could not handle money. When they got a windfall from lottery, their lives changed. They became a changed person, or they became drunkards, gamblers, separated from spouse and family. Some squandered all their money. In fact, many became worse off than before all this.

Life therefore, is not about possessions. What is the source of your life? Materialism is a hazard that needs careful navigation just like hazards on the golf course. In golf all you get is a penalty stroke. In life, you get stroked so hard by harsh penalties that you may never ever recover.

Antidote

There is only one antidote against covetousness or greed or avarice whichever you call it and that is to pursue a heart of contentment. Contentment is not laziness, lack of ambition or complacency. Contentment is in fact true spirituality. To philosophers, contentment is an act of the ability to rely on one's own resources and not on others and an attitude of self-sufficiency. It speaks of a fiercely independent person who is in need of nothing. Godly people learned to be content with any circumstances regardless as their needs are fulfilled and provided for by God.

It is like saying to yourself: "I'm tired of this miserable life" as opposed to "I'm satisfied with life as I don't have other needs". Take note the first phrase could have been uttered by a successful person who is well to do and the latter by a poorer soul. Contentment is the ability where you can walk away from all wants and needs.

Be contented with what we have but not contented with who we are because we can become more loving, less selfish, have deeper understanding and wiser. Most of us spent loads in time and money beautifying ourselves - our face, hair, body, etc. Nothing wrong as you have to take good care of yourself but how many of us would do the same to our souls? Beautify it, strengthen it, power it, upgrade it and up size it.

Generosity

Giving is the best way to check-mate covetousness as giving is about generosity. Generosity helps you understand about giving and that giving is better than receiving or holding and clinging on to possessions. Over time, it helps build immunity in us against greed. A person who gives of his money, possessions and time generously cannot be greedy. Giving and redistributing resources to others with more needs than us gives us contentment, peace and joy. It makes you happy. Some times, when I can I give away golf clubs and golf balls. Serious.When you give you bless others.

Reality Bites

The reality of it all is that it is hard to stop a child in a candy shop once they tasted and acquired the taste of those candy. Babies take all your chopped up vegetables in soup because they were babies and they can't find alternatives or feed themselves. Adults can see and help themselves to all the nice things in the world so how could anyone just be satisfied with 3 square meals a day, a basic shelter and normal clothes. The advert screams at you that you are special yes you!

You have a long lists of things to conquer. Before you complete it, there is a new list waiting. Most of us will feel some sense of insecurity so it appears good to accumulate more money and possessions. This is so to check against uncertainties of life and of the future but are they reliable? We can't even control when we come or when we will go. Most of us will fear death in proportion of our wealth or what we stand to lose. Rust and moth will destroy. Your heart goes where you think your treasure lays.

Instant World

Things that are instantaneous are not very good. You should not have instant noodles all the time. You only take instant coffee as an alternative some times. Today's society wants everything quick. Even soccer teams hire and fire. It's the "I-want-it-now" culture. Rome was not built in a day. Wealth can be instant when someone inherit a fortune or windfall but a person's character is like the forged blade of a sword or golf club that went through hell fire, beating and hammering before it could emerge. There isn't an instant character. People do not become good or turn bad over night. It is little by little so watch your small parts. I am not talking about your body.

Choose a little less than you can afford. Build more character than worry about money. Discover your own gifts and invest or pursue it. When we walk into a world with bright lights and all glimmer, one can get lost in it.

Excesses

Money can be a tool to build hospitals, schools, help in disease research but it can also build nuclear weapons. Money is a provision, a resource to be enjoyed responsibly. It should serve you but not be your God. If you have $10 million and I tell you Bill Gates has a $100 billion, it will make you feel small and worthless. So no amount will make you happy or satisfied as long as you knew some one has more. So we shouldn't measure success in this manner.

Those who are rich and successful need not feel guilty. You don't have to give everything away and live as hermits. Some of us have skills and abilities that can earn big bucks. It could have been a divine blessing. Being born into a prosperous country, you are already a lucky dude. Other may have encountered opportunities and they work well into it. Often good things can happen to us which could be beyond our own control. It is not an absolute right to be wealthy so self deceit or arrogance just does not cut it.


It is only right to enjoy what you had worked hard for. It is just that excessive enjoyment and self indulgence can be dangerous. We then live only for pleasure. Enjoyment without covetousness and with contentment can be beautiful. If we measure money with a golf score card then only those who par need be here, bogeys stand one side, double bogeys stand a bit further and triple bogeys don't even need to turn up. This is equivalent to being scornful. Most of our successes are owed to others. Money give power, prestige and privilege and it makes us feel entitled to all and that we are of greater worth than others who are lesser. Some places have leaders who are like that.

Living for pleasure or a sense of purpose is more important to you? Greed is an incurable disease, so inject yourself with doses of generosity daily. It is your best protection against a deadly disease. Obladi Oblada ... la la la life goes on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF-dtD9qY64

The story on youtube of a man who collects waste food from a restaurant. The unfinished noodles and chicken we left behind and thrown away in a rubbish bin became a family's food. He feeds the other children too not just his own. Look at the cheerfulness of the children and the joy in their eyes. They even say a prayer before their meal with a grateful heart. We can never imagine that. What they do not have they do not missed or have a desire for.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfiC-d5TIZQ

Be warned. It will touch you and make you cry. Be careful about your desires. Be contented. Then when you have achieved contentment you golf and you not only become discontented, you become disillusioned.