Men Are Pigs?
















Someone said - I have a hunch that men are pigs. If I were you, I'll rather not. Look what happened to Quasimodo (Hunchback of Notre Dame). He had a hunch too. I'm was on leave and decided to pen this. Sometimes, I just need a day off to have a different pace of life. I could wake up late, watch a movie, read the papers casually, run errands. It's on days like these that I could experience a different facet of life like watching workers clear the rubbish from the estate. I learn to appreciate them.

 I saw two yellow birds chirping and flying around. Hearing morning birds singing is a good therapy. I smell the roses. In the meantime, as I flipped through the papers, some controversy arose which is inevitable following Tiger Woods' fall from grace. Whether you like it or not, golfers are affected and tainted. The first group are golfers who ply the circuit like Tiger or some other pros. Sorry, maybe the correct word is "prowl" as in prowling the circuit. All eyes are on you! Then there are those who truly think that golf is better than sex. Even this innocent group got dragged in as each time they go golfing, the wives are casting suspicious glances for tell-tale signs. Sigh! Before Tiger could help our game, he has given us more trouble now.
There was this curious article that rubbed some cats' furs the wrong way stating that "Men Are Pigs" on the basis that her mum advocated that she must always be aware of her husband's activities regardless of how doting, loving or devoted they are. Her rational was that men are born with roving eyes even if they are good and well-brought up. This kind of statement will certainly riled up more than a few people. The truth be told, roving eyes are not the problem here, the problem are the roving hearts. If men are pigs then women are bitches? No, I am not starting a war of the sexes here. There are men and women who cheat. It's got to do with cheats not the sex. Determine if you pro-athlete husband is cheating on you by looking at this flowchart:

http://www.maxim.com/sports/sports-blog/85394/flowchart-to-determine-if-your-pro-athlete-husband-is-cheating.html


Are Men From Apes?


Before we debate whether men are pigs, we need to ask ourselves if Man came from apes as Darwin had proposed. If we believe that Man came from apes, then it is no wonder that some behave like monkeys. I am no ape and believe that we are a superior being created by design with intellectual superiority to have dominion over the animal kingdom. That's why we have Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. I say this so that we could understand that it is normal for humans - homo sapiens to be attracted to the opposite sex. Even for animals and insects it is the same.

 It is a design by default and thus enable ourselves to seek a life partner and because we are not animals we are not supposed to be mating freely by free roaming like your cell phones and bluetooth or like the animal kingdom but with commitment and because we are a superior being, we are able to have a choice of self-control that animal lacks. Of course beauty lies in the eye of the beholder and eventually you married a woman of your choice, usually. The lovey-dovey days of courtship where you whispered sweet nothings can wear out due to daily stress, work, children, money and you could even quarrel over a preferred way of squeezing a tube of toothpaste.

Notice how when children among siblings quarrel and they would say something like how I wish I have a brother or sister instead. That is because their best friends are so pally but truly if your best friend were to live with you for three months and once they exhibit their true colours, you had better be careful what you wish for the next time. We have problems because we are in close proximity in the family, at the work place, among friends, neighbours, Singapore and Malaysia, etc. Best friends walk out on business partnerships too.

We tend to take things for granted. You will fetch your girlfriend home no matter the time or place but after you got married you may tell her there is such a thing called a bus or MRT. Over time, you have forgotten why you have selected him or her in the first place, for some even fighting with parents and friends over it. It's like you walked into a restaurant and ordered what you thought was the most palatable food on the menu. Then when the waiter served the food at the next table, you looked over and start thinking that you should have ordered that instead.

Just like your work or business, the grass seems to be greener on the other side. Just like you look at some friends and thought that they are having it easy not knowing what they have gone through to be where they are. We never learned contentment and never knew how blessed we are to have such a wife/hubby/children/family/friends/job until we lose it. This is the state of the human heart. Did you come from apes? I hope not. There is a price to pay for everything!


Are Men Pigs?

Pigs are also known a hogs or swine and they have a reputation for foraging and gluttony. If men eat and sleep a lot and then snore, they may look the part. If men are pigs then women are sows and who choose their own boars. Sometimes, it may be hard to tell how things may turn out as people will change. One very safe way to gauge a partner or a friend would be to see how he or she treat others even people of no significance or strangers.

The reason is very simple. If this person only treats you well it is because they wanted something from you and you have something for them. The person who treats everyone well, fairly, kindly, compassionately and justly and with lots of love consistently, he or she will still treat you well and love you even when you are old, sickly and of not much use for them anymore sometime into the future. To say men are pigs is to use a broad brush to paint a picture. There are people out there - men or women who doesn't give a sh*t about morals or values and every generation's morals and values are sadly thinning away leading to moral decadence.

I think that every guy who witnessed the miracle of a childbirth should change. You are now the hero and the head of the family. The guy who chase the monsters from underneath the children's bed, who retrieve a fallen kite. Some could even cook. The amazing guy that everyone looks up to. Come hell or high waters, you cannot fail! But men have weaknesses. No make that "Man" and that includes women. We are selfish, greedy, ungrateful by nature and our hearts in the wrong places can lead to great capacity for revenge, hatred, destruction and evil.

In most cases, we have to go for training to improve ourselves but in these areas, we actually have to be aware of our real nature and seek to untrain ourselves to nullify our covetousness and self-gratification. This is not a men alone problem. There are times where people do not how to deal with a problem and instead of resolving them, they try to escape. The traps are all there and you just walk into it and the devil can have you for breakfast. You watch any movies and they show you that the very moment someone encountered a problem, he or she hits the pub for drinks. You go on a golf course, you see dangers in bunkers and water then what do you do? You flee from danger right? Similarly, in real life, you have to flee from danger.

Flee from the casinos, the jackpot fruit machines, the night clubs, the ladies as these are the dangers and the human flesh is weak. Throw in a few poisonous concoction of drinks and you see Brad Pitt in the mirror. It will lead you to do things you may regret later. Wrong actions may not lead to immediate punishments sometimes but it may surface later at the most inappropriate time such as when you are about to play at your own golf tournament or to represent your country in a beauty pageant only to win the title of Miss-Appropriation.

Or when you are about to be a famous star or seeking political office. To give you motivation, just think that each time the devil is setting a trap for you and the moment you fall, the devil wins because he wants you to join him in hell. In some movies, they depict a person in a situation and on one shoulder they have an angel and on the other side they have the devil both with a voice in you head. The devil would whisper into your ears: "Go on, she's hot!" or "C'mon, you can win all your money back and more at the table". The angel would say: "Flee!" Be careful of that voice in your head and make sure it's the right voice you are hearing. Narrow is the path to righteousness and wide is the path that leads to destruction. You are a hero! Do not ever let that go to waste!

I am not here to give a lecture simply because I am subjected to the same troubles and vagaries in life everyday and still working on it to avoid a pitfall just like you and Tiger. I'm reminding myself constantly because we are of the flesh. I'm writing this only because some of the folks asked for my comments. So are men pigs? I am sure some are - they dumped their wives/children/family some abused them too. Some women do that too. They covet another's property, etc. Many others actually fall into a trap, you may even say they are self-created.

 Some have no clue what to do but women who say all men are pigs obviously haven't met those of us who are not. Make sure that the women who are allowed close proximity to you are your mother, wife, sisters and daughters. Then there are sometimes issues about the in-laws which many thought should be renamed as the outlaws. Their good intentions can frequently spell trouble. A famous golfer once remarked jokingly: "The 2-iron is like the in-laws, I would love to hit them but I can't". Mummy's boy having to choose between mother or wife is a killer that few men can handle. Even for the tough guy who's no mummy's boy.

They say Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. One is physical and one is emotional. Yin and Yang. You have less of this nonsense in the old days, because you'd have a tough life as a farmer and have no energy or time left after a hard day's work. Besides, you are surrounded by cows and dogs. Are men pigs? The answer is - those who cheats are pigs! Regardless of men or women.


We can teach our children 1,001 things but they may hardly listen and there is still no guarantee that they will turn out fine. In fact, they may be thinking that parents are lame, uninformed, old-fashioned, unconnected, uncool, etc. One thing that is the absolute truth is that they may never listen to what you say but they will definitely do what you do. Quite often, these are picked up unbeknownst to the parents or other adults. The language you use, the tone and your acts and decisions.

I have seen some parents with their young children in toll scolding some parent volunteers at the school gate on a raining day. Then one day the parents must be wondering where the children learn how to scold people like that. We have to get our young people to learn to serve as our service quality has been dipping with no end in sight. We have to educate our youngsters to treat each other especially the opposite sex with dignity and respect not as sex objects. The problem with humans is that we do not learn from history, we do not learn from other's mistakes.

Every successful country with more prosperous people will end up eating more meat, more preserved food, in a rush, lack time for exercise, feel more stressed and have new health problems that comes with the success. Then it becomes more expensive, you work harder to earn more to pay for more new things and soon you will have an aging population. Today's people are stealing and cheating more. It is human nature. Did you ever notice that a child can lie the moment he could speak? Nobody needs to teach him that. He could have damaged something and when you asked him he would say no, not me. People lied for financial gains, cheated to pass tests. Some do it for esteem or to appear perfect to show that they are never wrong or because of fear of the consequences.

You open the papers and you could read about politicians, judges, police, teachers, sports icons and business leaders caught with theft, dishonesty or some form of cheating. Reality TV shows encouraged deception and glorifies dishonesty. The real problem is not some sexual promiscuity, usage of drugs (like sleeping pills), etc. Those are serious problems but they are symptons and the real culprit is "Dishonesty".

Dishonesty is the root cause of these problems because it's an attitude of total disrespect. Disrespect for other people and their things, for values, for oneself. Ignore it and you will deal with bigger problems later. Be a role model. Set good examples for the youngsters and hope to mould new and younger generations of people with deep respect. Again I ask: "What will you do when no one is watching?" Be a man, do the right thing. Follow the link for some laughters as Russell Peters show you.

In Conclusion

Everything has a conclusion. Be it a life, a story, a chapter, a problem, anything, All things big and small shall come to pass. It depends largely on oneself how you wish to conclude it. Drug addicts, gamblers, cheats, etc. who takes drastic actions to change have a chance to turn over. You have a control over your destiny and those who know what they do is wrong and decides to continue anyway are putting their destiny's control to other people or leaving it to chance and more often than not, circumstances will someday force upon them and it might be too late.

All of us has a built-in conscience so that we actually know right from wrong. Some may hurt another and quickly announce that their conscience is clear. They will get into trouble and pride will keep them there. Some people are very protective of their mothers, sisters, wife and daughters and think that others are all lechers but yet ironically, they conveniently forget their own lecherous acts or they could find a way to justify it. Hey, don't be angry with me, I'm just a messenger.

Recently, while at a coffee shop having a meal, I heard an old lady speaking out aloud jokingly to her friend in Cantonese: "Yeh mun, mm ho kong kwai, yat tau mm ho kong yan" which literally translated means - do not speak of the devil at night and do not talk about people in the day. I shall stop talking about people now and wish you a great weekend! Take care.

Fireproof Your Family

A friend wrote to me about this movie called "Fireproof" many months back and I never got to watch it till recently. It's about a fireman captain and his relationship with his wife. This is a "Must-Watch" movie and it is very good. I really thought more movies should be made this way instead of all the violence, blood and gore so common these days. You should watch it. I am trying to get hold of the DVD version and I can share it with you. In the meantime, it is sad that Tiger is taking a hiatus and will be away from golf indefinitely. He is repentant and that's good. However, there is a void now and I shall fill it. Er, the golf portion I mean...


Do You Have Hobbies?

I last told you that I wanted to design a Transgression driver, an Uchitel fairway woods, Grubbs irons, Elin wedge and Kalika hybrid. Now I can also add a Lawton putter, a Cori bag and be careful when you get your ball to the Jungers. The other day while golfing and at a stopover at the halfway house, my golf buddies were ordering drinks while I went for a quick relief. They ordered beer and together with the uncle they were asking what I wanted. They have Heineken, Carlsberg and Tiger. So I said: "Hey, it's um it's Tiger". Tiger's dad was a Lieutenant Colonel of the US special forces and trained Tiger to be very tough from a young age.

He would drop a golf bag intentionally behind him sometimes as he was about to tee off to create a loud noise to distract him. This was to train focus. Of course cameras clicking are an irritant but Tiger reacts badly to that despite the training. Do you think it cool to be a child prodigy? It actually meant that some actually do not have a childhood. His game play is almost robotic. Tiger has built such an awesome image and with money and power to boot so that throughout his entourage noboody would dare to tell him some of the things he was doing was wrong. Just as what Pirelli tyres asked in their advert: "What is power without control?" The first thing you need to understand about golf is that it is an honest game that is why it's a game without a referee or umpire.

 No cheating. This rule no. 1 has been flouted though he didn't cheat in the game. There's a two-faced of a role model husband/dad and family man and then this happened. If you look at John Daly you will know what I meant. Daly openly shows who he is - loudmouth, drinks beer, smokes cigarettes, gambles, womanises, went through divorces and even golf barefooted with friends. He didn't pretend to be somebody else. He's not a good role model but I like his honesty. Because of this , nobody bothers about him. We have a day job and plays golf as a recreation, a hobby.

For Tiger, golf is his job and he may not have any other hobby. Hobbies, okay make it the right hobbies are very important because it occupies your time, keeps you passionate and take your attention away from other things. They can be mundane or adrenalin charged. Biking, hiking, gardening, knitting, golf, photography, music and the arts, etc. when pursued passionately keeps your mind, soul and body fulfilled. If you don't have a hobby and just work, you are in danger. I was choosing between golf and knitting and I picked golf since I can't thread a needle. What about you? What's your hobby?

Do you have one? Make sure when filling up immigration forms during your travels, you fill in Male or Female under the sex column. Not three times a week or with three different partners. When you apply for a job, don't list shagging as a hobby. At the end of the day, you can have great hobbies but you have to realise that at every corner, at the super markets, on the streets, at work or when you travel, there are all kinds of temptations. You will get what you want to find. You just have to ask yourself - what will I do when no one is watching? Put your hand in a cookie jar? Many of us wish to be like Tiger but Tiger may just be wishing that he is like one of us.

Be careful as we know what you did last summer as a movie said so. The truth may be that there is no fun being a child prodigy. Absolute power corrupts too. Today's pro athletes are grossly overpaid and when young and too much money, it's easy to get into trouble. Finally, I think that no matter how wealthy, powerful, infallible or indestructible one thinks he or she is, the whole thingy can come crashing down when you least expect it. Life is all about cause and effect. For every action, there is a reaction, a consequence. Be careful about what we think, say or do. It all started with a thought.

Think of every consequence before you say or act on a thought if you don't want to go out scampering with your tail between the legs. You and I are not exempted from human follies. There are three things we need to do: (1) Learn from all the other people's mistakes before you get yourself some. As we watch the Tiger show, we learn, (2) Watch ourselves intently at all times, (3) Flee from temptations. Why? Because we can resist all things except temptations and people without real hobbies tend to stray. Keep a strong, passionate hobby for an idle mind is the devil's workshop.
Protect Our Future

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