Fakes, Clones and The Real McCoy

This is an urgent and important message.

I saw this guy at the market food centre wearing what appeared like a Liverpool jersey proudly displaying the bold number 9 with the name Torres on the back. "Rad" in colour and my mind went "Boomz!" to borrow some words from a new local wordsmith if you know what I mean. The only thing about him that resembled Fernando Torres was his hairstyle though it's different in colour.

He is a foreign worker working as a cleaner. I fondly recalled that in school we have a teacher called "Bulldog" (don't think I need to explain why Bulldog) who told us never to give our school jerseys or T-shirts away any old how as he has seen one wearing it but was an adult working as a cleaner. Nothing wrong to be a cleaner, it is an honest and important job, without them we are hopeless and living in the dumps.

I have friends who have parents who have humble professions as cleaners, washer women, seamstress, labourers and carpenters who brought up their brood of so many children so well and many would even go to universities. They are inspirational role models and have the most admired quality in integrity as persons. But I can see the teacher's point that the impressions created was not appropriate.

So when I have to design T-shirts as gifts bearing the company's logo, I made sure that the supplier is reliable, the material and quality is good and the colour does not run so that the receivers would be proud donning them rather than giving it away and then for it to find its way to a car wash, rubbish dump or worse - as table cloth at a foodcourt or hanging at the side of golf bags for cleaning clubs. You see, if I can't do the originals I don't do fakes. Just settle for and send in the clones. I mean, they are already cloning animals. No big deal.

Fakes

You may have recently read about the scam uncovered at eBay where an international syndicate was selling millions of dollars worth of fake golf clubs. Scotty Cameron putters for US$199 a piece where the advertised retail price is at S$600 plus. If anything in life that is too good to be true, it probably ain't true. Unless these buyers are unsuspecting then I sympathise with them for their ignorance. Ignorance in this case is not bliss. How can these things happen? Because they didn't know my blog existed. I could have helped and save them a bundle. Now, I feel I need to put on a cape and go save the world! Peter Parker's (Spiderman) uncle once told him: "With greater power, comes greater responsibilities".

These are no different from those Nigerian scams telling you that his father - King Ripyouoff or General Takeyourmoney Andrun has died and have hidden stash of cash where his mother or uncle Mr./Mrs. Screwyour Lifeforgood needs you to put some money with them then you can be rewarded with 5% of the few hundred millions. You may laugh but there are people who have taken the baits. I have learned of and read about such fakes some years back.

A set of Japanese S-Yard comprising driver, woods, irons, putter, golf bag, boston bag and a travel bag which cost only S$500 (perhaps by now S$300) when the actual driver would fetch something like S$1,500 and the iron set S$3,000 excluding accessories. I have read that some pros who were asked to test the irons couldn't tell the difference between the fakes and the real stuff. I have tried them too and can say that while the irons were pretty good, the same cannot be said of the driver and woods. It is much easier to make the irons.

Once the counterfeiters lay hands on the mouldings, the iron club heads could be replicated quickly. Grips are pretty much standardised rubber grips while the shafts are made from cheaper materials and therefore is not reliable.

If you are participating in a golf tournament, won it and then found to be using fakes, can you imagine the embarassment? Worse, if during a swing, the the club head is dislodged and someone got hurt. Don't laugh because when I just took up golf, I bought a cheaper new set that was on sale as I do not know if I really wanted to play this game.

They were originals from a reputable brand that also made high end stuffs. Perhaps because they were kept too long the quality became defective. On 2-3 separate occasions, twice on a range and once on the course, I experienced the rarified feel of a club head flying off from the shaft as I took a swing. It felt to have suddenly lightened and when I looked up I saw the head spinning off like a boomerang. It made me felt like some kung fu stars you see in movies where at the point of their attaining the highest skill level, they make some movements with their hands and some pots and jars would explode or daggers flying around but it was not to be.

I made a complaint and they denied such a thing could happen and only agreed to give me a replacement when I threatened to write to the press. At first, I thought that my swing was too powerful as I saw other beginners hacking away hitting the ground harder than me but nothing happened to their clubs. Today's golf clubs are so much cheaper so much so that buying fakes are totally unnecessary. Most of the top brands have their clubs made in China. Some are careful to say that theirs are not made there but are only assembled there. I do know that "Ping" has their own foundry in Arizona, USA where they are being made and are only assembled in the USA when your orders are received after club-fitting done locally.

I would discourage golfers to play with fakes simply because these are hastily assembled with cheaper materials, not properly fitted to correct lie angles, lofts or properly tuned in to the shafts. The logos on the shafts or club heads are also made from cheaper paints or inferior materials. You could actually smell the paint and glue from the clubs. These are things that never happened to the originals. Fakes are counterfeits. They sell you at a price cheaper than the originals but telling you they are originals ripping you off along the way. Nobody likes to be ripped off. It's like getting married and later found out your wife is a man.

Clones

What are clones? Clones are what fakes are not. Neither are they originals. They copied the originals in almost identical fashion, similar designs and colours and may even have quite similar names but instead of proclaiming they are TaylorMade r9, they would call themselves "Something T9" instead. They made them in the same shape, style and identical colours of say Nike, TaylorMade, Mizuno, Ping or whoever and give them some other names like Excel, Command, etc. or names like Eagle, Hawk, etc. This is not illegal in the USA. They declare and call themselves clones openly. You know you are getting clones when you buy it.

They may look identical but may not be as completely sleek. This is quite popular in the US because they are cheap, real cheap - a driver can be had for as little as US$99.95 only. They would usually claim that they are as good but because they do not have to pay top stars the advertisement money, they could then sell them cheaper to consumers. Well, these are definitely better clubs than the fakes.

They may possibly use cheaper materials but at least they are properly fitted and according to specifications. They tell you they are clones, not the real thing but they are using the same principles and quality materials. Some of the people who make and sell clones can actually be OEM for some manufacturers. Take a look at automobiles. Don't they clone one another copying in types, designs, functions, etc. Someone comes up with a concept of an SUV or MPV and everyone else is doing some. Some even look alike.

The Real McCoy

If you want the Real McCoy, go to a reputable retailer. If you want it cheaper, find some friend who may travel to the USA or just source for a reputable distributor/retailer in the USA and order them online. However, to me buying online depends very much on what kind of products we are buying. Buying some glue or screws does not need the "feel" factor but buying a shirt, leather sofa or golf clubs need testing. You need to see it, touch and feel it, smell it and test use it in order to decide. Or you could go to the "Used Club" shop to get some. If you look carefully, there are quite many fairly new used equipment out there. People are buying stuffs which they soon realise are not suitable for them and thus dumping them at these shops on consignment. I knew these very well as I have been there, done that and quite an expert. I'll be telling you more on used clubs in a later issue. I would pit my skills and knowledge against some of these people including the owners or the pros from these shops much like benchmarking standards and sparring with them.

Stay away from the fakes. You don't want to get Mercedes Benz for a hole-in-one and get disqualified for using counterfeits. This is worse than finding out the wife is a man. It's more like sliding down a giant razor blade using your sphericals as brakes - agony! A very good old dear friend asked me how I did all these blogs, he asked if I have copied and pasted from magazines. What a shame!

How could he have doubted after 40 years. On the other hand, I see it as a compliment because he must have thought he was reading from a book or magazine, a professional product. I guess I'm an eternal optimist. Even when I get slammed, I could only see the bright spots. Another friend told me that he found the articles entertaining and amusing and he reads them to destress. Well, at least I hope I'm doing something good. In these busy modern era, where life is so quick-paced (we are already in September), blogging is just a way to keep in touch and it is non-intrusive.

Like the song from Green Day goes - Wake Me up When September Ends. There have been speculation on the song that it was about 911 as it was dated 10 September and a song about September and it was on track 11 of the album. The video version showed a young couple where the guy promised never to leave her (guys are terrible!) only to be enlisted with the Marines (heroic, bravery, to protect her), went to Iraq (Ir pronounced like irresponsible, irrespective, Iraq not as in iPhone, iPod, iMac, iRaq), but truly the songwriter was just talking about the time when he was a child when his father died of cancer.

He felt it was a defining moment where he lost his innocence and September is associated with pain when he remembered his father even after 20 years. As for me, I just wanted to sleep. An old friend never failed to remind me: "Sleep is a weapon". Not sure if he's just lazy and making himself look good saying that while looking like Confucius spouting wisdom: "War not determine who right, war determine who left" or "Better be pissed off than pissed on". But he has the truth.

When you are unwell, the good doctor would ask you to do two things, drink plenty of water and have good sleep and rest well. A doctor friend added a third - and play golf. Obviously he's an avid golfer. Problems seem to be bigger when we do not have sufficient sleep. Have a good night's rest and by the next day, everything seems to be better. At least the head is clearer. Sleep over your problem, it will go away. A solo frog in the backyard pond at night makes the noise of a hundred frogs but come daylight you soon realise that it was just one. So sleep over you problems and your golf troubles. Do not let it overwhelm you today. Deal with it the next day. If it doesn't go away, at least you get a good night's sleep. So wake me up when September ends.

Ciao! Happy Golfing!

Warning!!! I had to put this in "rad" so you can see the "Boomz!" Anyone who sees a beauty in rad biggini will go Boomz, Boomz, Boomz! Someday in the near future beware that there could be people who would put up fake blogs that imitates mine or claim they are me. You will not be fooled. My style is unmistakeable and style never goes out of fashion. Boomz! By the way, We should stay bersatu and then beseru it!