Green Speed & The Stimpmeter

Some folks asked me why so much golf and how about soccer? Why not? We can talk about anything under the sun. Do you need help to enlarge your "organ?" I can write about it too. I'm talking about organ as in piano/music. Don't think funny.

There was a woman on a flight who asked the Priest beside her to do a favor. She had bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for her mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits and afraid they'll confiscate it. "Could you hide it under your robes and carry it for me through Customs?" The Priest told her that he would love to help but he can't tell a lie. When they got to Customs, an official asked the Priest if he had anything to declare. "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare". As it was an unusual answer, the official attempted another question: "What do you have to declare from the waist down?" The Priest said: "Oh, I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman but which is, to date, unused." The official said: "Go ahead, Next!" roaring with laughter. I know what you are thinking now. Don't go looking for a priest to carry a driver. Not even a putter. It will not work out.

Then I saw this somewhere and thought there may be some truth in it and it's important that you know - In 1923, Who Was:

1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York stock Exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
6. Great Bear of Wall Street? These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their days. Now, 80 plus years later, the history book asks us, if we know what ultimately became of them........

The Answers:

1. The president of the largest steel company. Charles Schwab, died a pauper.

2. The president of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, went insane.

3. The president of the NYSE, Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home.

4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless...

5. The president of the Bank of International Settlement, shot himself.

6 The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore, also committed suicide.

However, in that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion and the winner of the most important golf tournament, the US Open, was Gene Sarazen.What became of him? He played golf until he was 92, died in 1999 at the age of 95. He was financially secure at the time of his death. The Moral: Screw Work. Play golf.

We play golf at different golf courses. Some travel the globe doing it while others do it on holiday or business on exotic locations. Even on the same course in a different week, you will notice that you can putt quite markedly different as the green on the day may seem slower or faster. Then you watch PGA Tours on your television especially at Oakmont where even the world's best putters floundered. Their pitch shots or putts would run away despite their best efforts. Why?

It is simply due to the fact that in most golf courses that we play on, the average green speed is so much slower. Not that they are slow but just that Oakmont is extremely fast. In the old days, officials or commentators would just comment that "Oh, the green speed this year seems much faster than last year." How much slower or faster nobody knew or had a clue.

Edward Stimpson Sr

The green speed is the speed of the ball when it travels on the putting green. It was in a situation described above on one occasion in 1935 that an official spoke to Edward Stimpson Sr commenting that the green speed was much faster that Mr. Stimpson asked "how much faster?" and there was no answer. That was the year in 1935 at Oakmont that Edward Stimpson Sr discovered what was to be called the "Stimpmeter". Don't ask me why it's called the Stimpmeter and not the Stimpsonmeter. Despite the genius I am, I am no busy body.

The Stimp Meter

The stimpmeter measures the speed of a course putting green by sort of like applying a measured force to the ball then again measuring the distance the ball travelled in "feet". It was later to be redesigned by Frank Thomas (of USGA). It measures around 36 inches long and almost 2 inches wide. It comes with a V-shaped groove with the ball supported at two ends of half an inch apart so that the ball could roll all the way onto the green. The distance travelled by the ball measured in "feet" is therefore termed as the green speed. This is usually taken on a flat section of the green 3 times in each direction. The standard of green speed measured and termed as slow, medium or fast is as follows:

USGA

Slow Green: 4.5 ft.

Medium Green: 6.5 ft.

Fast Green: 8.5 ft.

US Open

Slow Green: 6.5 ft.

Medium Green: 8.5 ft.

Fast Green: 10.5 ft.

Oakmont Country Club (Where the device was invented)

Greenspeed: 13-15 ft.

At the last one held there, the green speed was 13.5 ft.

In most local courses, the green speed is around 6-8 ft. When green conditions were bad, it can even be a slow 5 but most good courses should give you a 7. 8-9 maybe possible too but that can get a bit treacherous. So when you see the world's best struggling at Oakmont, they are no fools but just that the greens are almost impossible. Some of these clubs do actually display a notice for the day's green speed. Try and watch out for that.

I'm trying to get creative so maybe I'll start work on a GeoMeter to measure the level of agony of golfers - a giant razor blade like a stimpmeter to let golfers slide down on a sharp edge using a certain part of the anatomy as brakes. Why does it take so long for the weekend to come and yet disappear so quickly?

Golf as in life, play as it lies!