Laughter - The Best Medicine

One of the reasons I took up golf was because there is no other game that can provide so much fun and laughter - laughing at yourself and others especially the latter, hahaha. Then you pray that the others do not have too many chances to laugh at you. There are usually plenty of opportunities to do so. For example, somebody is getting set up at the tee box and you could see him fiddling around, studiously surveying and studying the landscape to avoid the water or the Out of Bounds zone and after summoning all of his golf skills and years of experience, he hit the ball to exactly where he was trying to avoid. 


Or one where the fairway is so wide and there is a bunker tug at an obscure corner and you go right into the bunker. Sometimes, there could be a tree at one side of a huge fairway and your ball crash into the tree. This is akin to driving your car in a desert where there is a single tree and you crash your car into it. If this is fair dinkum to you, you must take up this wonderful game of endless laughters. Laughter is indeed the best medicine.

Let me share some wise cracks some of which you may have heard while playing golf:

Why is golf played over 18 holes? In the beginning around 1858, the board at St. Andrews had a discussion and a member pointed out that by limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.

After a birdie, you'll make 2 triple bogeys to compensate according to the law of the universe.

You'll hit a super-wide fairway 10% of the time and a branch of a single tree 90% of the time.

A golf game is just a test of your skill against your opponents' luck - always.

No matter how badly you are playing, it is possible to play worse.

The result of a good golf lesson will lead to the elimination of the one critical bad habit that compensate for all your wrong habits.

Bad shots come in threes, so the 4th shot could be the beginning of a next new group of three.

If you look up and it resulted in an awful shot, you'll be looking down when you should be watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

Never keep more than 101 thoughts in your mind when you are about to swing.

If you see a ball in the bunker and a ball on the green or the fringe, your ball is the one in the bunker.

If you see 2-3 balls in the bunker, yours is the one in a huge footprint.

If you are afraid a full swing may reach the green while the front flight is putting, you can opt to shank a nice lay up or wait for them to clear and top a ball halfway.

If you have to carry your shot over water hazard, you can hit one more club or two more balls.

Then there was one that goes like this:

'Hello, Sir? This is the caretaker at your country house. Is there a problem?'' Um, I am just calling to advise you, Sir, that your parrot is dead. 'My parrot? Dead? The one that won an International competition? ''Sir, that's the one.'' Damn! I spent a small fortune on that bird. How did he died? ''From eating some rotten meat.''Rotten meat? Who fed him rotten meat? ''Nobody, Sir. He ate the meat of a deadhorse. ''Dead horse? What dead horse? ''The thoroughbred. ''My prize thoroughbred is dead? 

''Yes Sir, he died from exhaustion pulling the water cart. What was the water cart for? ''We used it to put out the fire, Sir. "What fire are you talking about?'' The one at your house, Sir! The curtains caught on fire after a candle fell. ''Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because a candle fell?! ''Yes, Sir. ''But my house has electricity! Why use a candle? ''It was for the funeral. ''What Funeral are you talking about??!! ''It's your wife, Sir', she showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Wood's Nike Dymo golf club. (There was complete silence.....).

"Listen, if you broke that driver, I'm going to kill you!!!"

Golf as in life, play as it lies!