Character

According to Mark Twain, the difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. It is not nice to use profanity especially among people you do not know well. Why not build up your vocabulary by being a voracious reader. Whether you are writing or speaking, just express yourself simply, elegantly and eloquently. Reading also help expand your mind more than anything else can do for you. Do self reflection everyday and make time for it as an exercise to increase your own value so that when it is well-honed it will naturally lead to allowing your actions speak louder than words.

Boastfulness

There are some people who are boastful and at one time or another we may be guilty of the same thing especially when we have achieved something but by always talking about ourselves it becomes nothing nothing more than an outward manifestation of an inferiority complex. Truly capable people do not need to trumpet their achievements as they let others do so for them. When you trumpet your own accomplishments, you are unwittingly showing people that you are not certain of yourself nor of your own value to the world.

Make Things Happen

You must have heard this: There are people who watch things happen, people who wonder what happened, and those who make things happen. Be one who make things happen. If you show others what you can do, you gain far more respect than telling them what great things you have done.

Be Dependable and Reliable

Pirated goods like cheap watches are not dependable. Do we expect pirated goods or cheap watches to perform like quality stuffs - with accuracy and great craftsmanship? The materials used, workmanship and attention to details will not be there. This is precisely what will happen to us when we do not build qualities in ourselves which is far more important than any other goods that you might have. 

Our character cannot be left to chance and we have to consciously choose the appropriate character traits especially those that you admired and were inspired by and then work on them. We will make mistakes but let them be only honest mistakes. When we do stumble, pick ourselves up again. Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote that "our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail."

This my friend is a life long process to complete. It is liken to being a sculptor working on a piece of stone which at first is devoid of character. You start chipping, chiseling, knocking at it day by day, day and night. You may see nothing at first, then you see a head, shoulders begin to appear, arms, torso, legs and then facial features begin to fill in.

Being A Sound Character

In life, there can be periods of uncertainties and sometimes even emergencies. Out of nowhere may come a lightning bolt. Sometimes, we may go under or the heat is so intense you feel like you are melting or it may shake the the daylights out of you giving a shock to your system. It may even ask questions of your entire being and beliefs. This can happen to the best of people. It could be your health, something personal or your finance, etc. but like it or not, they have to be dealt with. You want to act swiftly but sometimes they do linger. 

The right thing to do must be to focus solely and only on the solutions not go on a witch hunt or to apportion blame. It is damage assessment, damage control, think through, find alternatives, fathom the consequences but finally act on it to implement the most appropriate action to achieve a proper solution. Most importantly, take ownership and deal with it on your own terms then only can you be a stronger, better person by taking the bull by its horn, look it the eye and conquer. Sound character is going to be one of your greatest assets believe you me for it shall provide you the strength and power to ride out storms in our life.

Thoughts

Some people dream at night, others may dream in the day. Some may be brain dead. Just kidding. Dreams are free and dreamers can be great but above all be a thinker. Before one can be a doer he has to be a thinker. The first premise is in the mind that's when you think. Your thoughts will lead to words or actions. The thoughts that you release becomes a part of your character as thoughts are things and what you release as bad or good becomes a certain kind of energy that surely affects those at the receiving end. Your thoughts actually affects you. 

You will become what you think most. Thinking more and more about success will help to condition your mind towards seeking success. Thinking about doing the right things regardless of the circumstances will lead you to do the right things and you will attract large portions of such goodness. Conversely, when you start to think of sad thins, failures and despair you will begin to feel desperate and miserable. Always keep your mind positive and whenever you experience negativism, you have to consciously subvert it and eliminate any negative thoughts by replacing them with positive ones and you will instantly feel better.

Reputation

Your character is what you are. What people think of you is your reputation. Both are so closely linked that it pays for you to pay attention that they both match positively. Sometimes, certain people may fool others for a while about what kind of persons they are but it does not last long. The only way to make sure that your reputation and character are similar is to live your life in a way that nothing that you choose to do would embarrass you even if they were reported in the front page of the national newspapers. People with good characters will never take short cuts on ethical matters even if everybody else may be doing so. Your character is good when you consciously choose to do the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do. No compromise, even if you look the fool.

If your character is sound, you do not need to worry about your reputation. If you already have a conviction that you have sound character. are a caring, kind, considerate, dependable and honest person then you will have the courage to know that you will never worry about what others might think of you. You can march on fearlessly. Thomas Jefferson once said that a majority is one man with the courage of his convictions.

Honesty

There was once a CEO who was to choose who would succeed him so he gave a seed each to every executive and they were to plant it and water it everyday for a year and come back to show their results after which he will choose a successor based on his judgement of how the plant grew. One man brought the seed back, religiously worked on it, water, sunshine and gave everything he had but nothing grew from it. In the meantime, he heard all the others talking from the grapevine about how tall their plants were growing and how beautiful they were. He felt only despair and shame. 

One year soon came to past and he thought to himself about how could he bring along an empty pot and make it the most embarrassing moment of his life in front of all but he decided to do the right thing. When he arrived, he saw all the tall and beautiful plants the others brought along. He stayed right at the back and put the empty pot behind him. Many who saw him with the empty pot laughed, some even insulted him. 

It was more than he could bear. When the CEO arrived, he saw the man with the empty pot and asked that he step forward. He was terrified for being a failure and thought that he was a goner. The CEO asked that all sat down except him and pronounced the last man standing was to become their new CEO. Why? The old CEO explained his reasoning - all of you except him brought me an amazing array of trees, plants and flowers when you when you found that your seed could not grow, you substituted it with your own other types of seeds. He was the only one with integrity, honesty and courage. What I have given out were boiled seeds that will not grow.

For one to deceive himself it is the beginning of decline in character. It is a process where one rationalise and permits oneself to justify unacceptable behaviour. Take a step back and look at yourself. Would you like someone like you? If the answer is no, how then do you expect others to like you? Do not deceive yourself. Be honest with yourself at all times.

Attitude

Build a strong foundation on positive character traits and success will follow you wherever you go for it is impossible to fake good character as it is reflected in one's mental attitude. Phony characters cannot last and will soon be quickly and easily spotted. Why? Because they do not have the substance or determination to maintain untruths. Develop good characters with a positive attitude. It is a desire. When you harness such a desire to do good, be decent, considerate and honest you will firstly have to put this in your mind and your heart. You have to want it and want it real bad. Once this seed is planted in your mind and heart, you have made a decision to become a person of character. You will naturally follow your mind and willingly do the right things simply because it is the right thing to do. Even when there is no one watching.

Avoid Self-Righteousness

How can we judge others if we have been blind to our own faults? Is it because our eyes cannot see ourselves but only that nose sticking out below? We act according to our own whims and fancies and own convenience. You can get angry over someone who stops his car indiscriminately along the road but never gave two hoots when you did the same. We use double standards to justify things. The ability to evaluate ourselves objectively is critical to our well being, our relationships with other people and will impact us enormously and to what level of success we can achieve during our lifetime. Unless, we could honestly evaluate ourselves given our equal proportion of strengths and weaknesses how then could we improve ourselves? When we can't do this to ourselves then what business is it to go about poking our noses into others and delivering a judgement on others? People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Where are you now and where will you be? If you are an independent neutral observer, what would you recommend that you do and what advice would you give. Do you chide yourself when you were inconsiderate? I remember that when I was young, some teachers used to say that when you cheat, you are cheating yourself. That's what it is - self-conceit.

Perception

We will find what we are looking for. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". We see what we wish to see in others. Humans are very complex animals made up of feelings, good and bad thoughts and a mixed bag of emotions. Our impression of others depends far more on ourselves than the person or based on some biases and prejudices and the kind of expectation you have. Find good qualities in people because if you don't then you won't. Our mechanisms often lead us to our preferred mode of perception because we are afraid to be cheated, hurt or betrayed since people often say "don't trust anyone". If you sometimes felt misunderstood then why do you also misunderstand others? It is one and the same thing but just two sides of the same coin. It is often so easy to criticize and find faults in others but yet feel offended when on the receiving end. If we were to only find faults and who did wrong then we will all be very busy since everyone has lots and lots of faults. Why not just identify goodness in others or a job well done and highlight them even when at work? Others who witnessed it or heard of it would then do well to find out what that was and also hopefully learned from it.

Struggle

Is there someone so bad that there is not a single good thing in him? Or someone so perfectly good that there is no badness in him? None! Look through all literary works or religious writings and you will understand that life is a constant struggle between good and evil. It is residing inside of us and within our capacity do good or evil. This struggle affects all humans, it does not mean that you are higher up a ladder and you will forever remain untainted. It is work in progress till the end. Though we understood our very own internal struggle such as like when you really feel like strangling someone, we are often very quick to condemn others, especially people of different groups, etc. Should we not think that people are really and genuinely good but that some have bad behaviours? Borrowing on stories of seeds, our behaviour, character traits and values could only grow strong when constantly watered and fed with tender loving care (TLC).

Money

Money is the root of all evil. Right or wrong? Or is it the love of money being the root of all evil? Money has no character but follows the character of the persons who possesses it. Whether you squandered it on a palace with gold statues or to build a hospital, gambled away, build a home for the destitute or for housed of worship, it follows the users' path. It can be used to fight diseases or protect children like orphans or it can be used for destruction like war. That is why people talk about giving back to society - in helping others enthusiastically. Remember this - in life, the beneficiary of all noble causes is always the one who gives not the one who receives.

Dishonesty

There is no price for honesty. People who are honest only up to a certain price are really dishonest. In honesty, there are no measurements, degrees, 1st Dan, 2nd Dan or whatever. Isn't it true then that you are either honest or dishonest. These are absolutes. Honesty itself is an end and is itself a rich reward. It is the highest form of human decency, behaviour and respect. The advantage of being honest is that you never have to worry what you said the last time, which lie you told to whom or (ha ha) talking in your sleep nor worry about getting caught or drag to a lie detector. Small innocent white lies will one day grow into a monster and assume a life of its own so much so that you even begin to believe in your own lies after which you need a bigger lie to cover that smaller one and then you add in more and it will end up an entangled web of lies. Don't lie or take things that do not belong to you and you will have no need to worry.

Self Respect

The best way to command the respect of others is to be the person others like being around with. Being respectful of others is also a form of self respect. You don't need others to validate your existence. What are the good traits of others that you admire and can learn from? Identify them and develop them. Sometimes, we need time for yourself and by yourself. This time is necessary to "keep still", to "stay silent" sort of searching for answers from within. We will learn humbling experience and truths about oneself through quiet introspection away from the hustle and bustle of life and the noise. We are spiritual beings and can learn to tap into our spiritual reservoir. It is like getting in touch with your inner self. Have you done that before? Self reflect and talk to God if you wish to. Seek tranquility and solitude. Think and reflect upon your life.

Ok, I can't help but to add that you can do mental golf too in this manner and seek answers too. Seek and you will find.