Friends

A friend is somebody who "trusts" and is "fond of" another. Somebody who "thinks well of" and who is on good terms with somebody else. "An ally, someone who is not an enemy." A "defender or supporter of a cause, group or principle".

If you want to have friends, you must first be a friend by developing a genuine interest in people and certainly not in looking for what they can do for you. This is if you want true friendship. Friendship is really about giving without expecting anything in return. If you call on friends only when you need something, you will soon be without friends.

What Kind Of Friend Are You?

Are you the type who shows consideration for others? Are you generous? Do you give of your time freely and are you a kind person? Or do you take people for granted? Do you ask but never gave? Do you take time to stay in touch? Do you give freely? Why? Because birds of a feather flock together and they will be what you make them out to be.

Do you ever or constantly do a self assessment to determine what kind of a friend you are? Would you like yourself as a friend? Are you too self-absorbed and too consumed with your own interest you have no time for friends? Friendship must be nurtured, grown, kept warm and at some point tested by fire so as not to be taken for granted and developed into something that last forever.

True Friendship

True friendship is a priceless gift. Quality matters more than quantity just like the food or drinks that you partake of. Friends who respect and love you for who you are even when they knew your hopes, secrets, dreams and faults should be cherished but true friends would also chide you fearlessly for some severe wrong doings of yours even if you threaten to severe ties.

In real life, you will find that very often the only reason some people spend time with us as friends is based on a perception of what you could do for them. Real friendship is reciprocal and without calculation. In the worst case, the respects and benefits must be equal and mutual. You earn the friendship of others by being the person who deserves the respect of a friend. It is when others look up to you that you have a responsibility to treat them with the same respect you would like them to give you. The "Golden Rule" - do to others what you like others do to you.

Be A Good Listener And Shoulder To Cry On

True friendship also accepts imperfections as these are individual traits but so long as the positives outweighs the negatives and are not serious and bad influences who are we to play judge and jury? Your friends will not like you to comment on their failings anymore than you would like them to criticize you so when you find your friends discouraged by a situation and disappointed with themselves, offer them words of encouragement or just a shoulder to cry on not give a sermon or lecture on how to do things or live life. Be a good listener and only offer advice when asked and you must absolutely treasure the trust that a friend placed in you and don't go telling every else gossipping away or with sms so that by the time he gets home, his neighbours knew everything. Lavish praise on them when they do well and sympathize with them when they fall. No need for more constructive criticism. All of us do expect quite a lot from ourselves and are aware of our own shortcomings anyway. None wish to be painfully reminded by friends on these.

Tolerance As Everyone Has Faults

Very often, we easily overlook the faults in ourselves but we spot them so quickly in others. It is easy to criticize friends, family members and business associates but it is a lot more difficult when it comes to our own shortcomings. But then we are all humans with the same faults and failings so it does make sense to have a wonderful quality of tolerance to enable us to accept others as they are. Why instead of fault finding, we try to find good in others even at the work place or even in social circles? Compliment more than you can criticize. Praise more than reprimand. Human faults are pretty evenly distributed among all people. Take a good look at yourself.

Betrayal

All humans have short memories because by nature, we are often preoccupied with our own cares, problems and interests so much so that it's easy to lose track of others including friends. Sometimes, you may have a situation whereby you have to choose what you must do and what you wish to do. Make sure that you always remember those true and loyal friends who went through thick and thin with you when you were down and in need of help and they were there standing by your side. Never under any circumstances should you abandon such great friends. When you let down such a friend who helped you at your lowest ebb, you will affect the friendship so adversely that it will damage your self respect. You fail yourself when you fail a friend like that no matter how heavy your own burdens are. Others who found out what you have done will lose their respect for you. Never betray a friend. You should also note that a friend could be your father/mother, siblings, relatives, wife, husband, children, etc. Trust once lost is usually never recovered no matter how long it took to build it.

Harmony Through Cooperation

Beyond such friendship, there are friendship at the work place among peers, superiors and subordinates. The noblest of human relationship are founded in the spirit of cooperation and harmony. Some people may feel a sense of jealousy and envy and some may have the urge to intentionally cause problems or difficulties for those they dislike, felt threatened by their own insecurity for whatever reasons but truly great and successful people would restrain themselves and control such urges because they knew the truth that if they were to focus on the right objectives by helping others along the way then they will eventually not only reach their goals but gain an awful lot of respect. The Law of the Universe always talks about the fruit that you'll receive is dependent on the seed you plant and the Universe, fruits, seeds and plants have to yield to this principle because they were all part of the creation and if creation is by God then stop working for the devil and fear God. If you can't do good, then at least don't do bad. Pick the right master to serve. You can't have both. It is never easy to be always cooperative and friendly but it is worth it when you can achieve true harmony by winning without having to fight. Cooperation is really all about the care, concern and respect for your fellow man. Working in a spirit of cooperation is basically conducting oneself in the founding principles of almost all religions and all highly successful societies. I offer a few quotes:

Anyone, who truly wants to go to war, has truly never been there before! - Larry Reeves.

The real and lasting victories are those of peace, and not of war. - Ralph Waldo Emmerson.

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln.

If the enemy is in range, so are you. - Infantry Journal.

Conflicts & Compromise

In any conflict, a compromise can quickly salvage a threatened failed relationship. A stitch in time saves nine. Many disheartened employees can be greatly motivated by a few carefully chosen words of encouragement or inspiration. A good manager can look beyond a current situation in order to preserve a future benefit or a benefit that is for the larger good but you may betray yourself with a voice of despair, anger or fear unleashing useless emotion rather than offer wisdom and such a voice, banging tables, shouting or losing control will be what and how others view you. People will always remember how you make them feel. Learn to control your emotions. When you are in a leadership position, others watch you like a hawk on the signals that you send. You must manage the ways you convey messages to others if you ever hope to inspire and to demonstrate that you really care. In wars, every side loses and nobody wins. Even the perceived victor gets his own nose bloodied.

There are only two forces in the world - the sword and the spirit. In the long run, the sword will always be conquered by the spirit. - Napoleon Bonaparte.

Keep Warm Relationship

All human beings have their weaknesses, frailties, insecurities and foibles and need to be appreciated for our own uniqueness as individuals and frequent acknowledgement and approval of appreciation can go a long way to maintain friendship or any relationship and affirmative expression by words or deeds is like casting them in stone. Say your thank yous and tell people how much you appreciate them, congratulate them on their achievements and most importantly let them know that you are there for them when they need you. Friendship needs warmth to up keep and kept alive even if you are not able to meet as often as you like or if you are miles away. There are such things in the modern world as the internet, email, skype, sms, etc. If you don't keep in touch for ages, relationship will first turn lukewarm and then finally turn cold.

Acquaintances or Friends

Money and power attracts and appeals to some people and some "friends" are people who are looking at what you can do for them. These are just acquaintances not friends. If you look at Mike Tyson, Michael Jackson and many other rich, powerful and successful people, they seemed to have lots of friends until they become broke, bankrupt or got into trouble. Be selective and associate with people who are positive who like you for who you are regardless of your status, who encourages you to be the best you can be and just to be yourself. You may lose everything some day but fear not, they will be there with you! How many rich, powerful and highly successful people had died broken when their friends fade away into oblivion together with their material attraction.

Make Peace

Blessed Are The Peacemakers haven't you heard. "Blessed are the Peacemakers for they shall be called Sons of God". This is very powerful as you can see how highly you are being placed for being a peacemaker. You must be more just a friend - be a peace maker. Very often, you get people adding fuel to fire, adding salt to wound. Some actually gossip until they create a war. Then they just stand around and watch the fireworks. Be careful. In any conflict, a reasonable voice, a compromise or suggestion can salvage a situation. Carefully chosen words can inspire a discouraged person. Just be careful that in a melee, bottles are not thrown at you or if both sides are armed with knives or so that you won't get killed by friendly fire. When elephants stampede get out of the way. Peacemakers may get to heaven but I'm just not sure if you want to be there sooner.

War does not determine who is right but who is left. - Bertrand Russell.

In war, truth is the first casualty. - Aeschylus.

You know the true meaning of peace only when you have been through war. - Kosovar.

Struggle & Strive

Looking around us everywhere, the universe is orderly and in harmony - winter, spring, summer or fall. The trees bear fruit in its season but human relationships struggle all the time because in the human heart there is too much strive. Some people find it hard to cooperate with others. Yet others coerce or force others to cooperate without meaning or purpose, fairness or objectives. Very few learned to work together for the benefit of an entire group or for a greater good. Achieving harmony requires a lot of pain, patience and hard work. The truth is you will always accomplished far more working with people then working against them. Action speaks louder than words is an old adage that is ever so profound in its simplicity - always show that you care.

Leave Your Footprints

People come into our lives and some quickly go...while some people become friends and stayed awhile...leaving behind beautiful footprints in our hearts and we are never quite the same again for that experience. Leave your footprints in people's hearts. You don't have to win all the time. Because if you are ahead of your time, many people may not understand you sometimes so if you leave behind a trail of footprints, there is a path to follow or look back on. Those that are lost can find their way back.

Greatest Of All Is Love

The greatest of all things is love. Those who do not have it could not accept or embrace it so they want to have a blast at others because they resent it. Deep inside, they wanted it. Learn to love good friends. Good friends can come together, sit down and even without saying a word, felt that they just had the best conversation ever! Greater love has no one than this - that he lay down his life for his friends (John 15: 13). This sums up friendship.

Faithfulness

A bird was nearly frozen to death but just then a cow came by and shit on it. The warmth of that which covered the bird saved its life. The bird was so happy that it survived and it went chirping away. A cat that passed by, investigated, dug out the bullshit and readily ate the bird away. Those who may some times shit on you may not be your enemy and those who appeared to be saving you may not be your friend. A true and faithful friend is ready to tell you the truth at critical moments even if you don't like it. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. - Proverbs 27:6

Conclusion

Finally, absolutely nobody in the world can cause you anger, unhappiness and pain unless you give them permission to do so. You are fully and solely responsible for you own emotions and feelings. Why allow annoying conditions or situation to distract you and deter you. We have no time to allow petty annoyances to keep you from your objective of being happy. In the event you got hurt by another, do not lower yourself to his standard by doing back the same things.

Golden Rule

Most of us have two basic questions about others when we enter into a relationship. They are: Can I trust you? And, do you really care about me? Depending on our own experience and upon our previous success in partnerships with others-personal or business-the answers may be difficult. Confidence in another is often developed gradually as those involved in the relationship commit themselves to each other’s success and happiness. Although trust and confidence are the basic underpinnings of all successful relationships, they are fragile. A relationship that has endured for years can be irreparably damaged by a few unkind words or a single thoughtless act. Don’t allow yourself to act in haste or to lose control of your emotions in important relationships and friendship that you treasure.

Others Before Self

This is the clincher! How many people out there can think of others, serve others before self.

Learn to listen more than you talk, it is also wise to think about the well-being of others more than you think about your own wishes and desires. When you constantly strive to treat and serve others in the same way you would like them to treat you, you become a person whom others like to be around, one who commands their respect, confidence, and loyalty. When you learn to manage and control your emotions and ego, and when you learn to always consider the needs and desires of others, it is inevitable that you will always be received with kindness and consideration, and catch more friends than you can count. Anytime, anywhere.

Connect Your Friends


If you have friends who goes out of his way to help cement friendships between others, consider yourself very very fortunate. In today’s frantic, mobile, throwaway society, such individuals are extremely rare. With the demands placed upon us by our careers, our families, and the hectic pace of daily life, most of us have little time for ourselves let alone our friends. Yet we know that friendship freely given and gratefully received is one of life’s greatest gifts.

All of us are incapable of "going it alone" in life. Whether it is in our careers, our personal relationships, or in life, we all need others if we are to achieve the level of success we desire. Besides, what’s the point of having it all if we have no one we care about to share it? You may choose to work with others, you may ignore them, or you may choose to work against them, but the greatest successes in life come to those who work harmoniously with others. When your personal goals coincide with those of another, not only does the power of your combined labours benefit you, but such cooperation also creates a synergistic effect that allows you to achieve far more than the simple sum of your individual efforts. For what is success if you have no one to share with? Whenever possible, connect your friends to one another. When this world is full of friends, there are no more enemies. Well, at least there are less enemies and more friends. It is entirely up to you to see which one to increase or decrease.

Be A Great Friend

The characteristic of a genuine heroism is its persistency. All men have wandering impulses, fits and starts of generosity. But when you resolved to be great, abide by yourself, and do not weakly try to reconcile yourself with the world. The heroic cannot be the common, nor the common the heroic. - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Be a great friend!

Don't you think that friends are so important? Sing to Auld Lang Syne!

We happy few, we band of brothers . For he today that sheds his blood with me, shall be my brother. - William Shakespeare, King Henry V.